I did it. I wrote up a parenting guide manifesto for Rick and my parents. Then I packed my bags, kissed my kid posse goodbye and got on a plane. I was nervous as hell to leave everyone. But I promised myself that this year I would have more faith and be more brave. So here I come N’awlins!!
Or rather the tarmac.
Which is a lot better than a broken wing.
While Joe the Plumber worked on the latrine issue, the guy sitting next to me would cover his ears every time the flight attendants said anything over the loud speaker.
“I don’t actually know where I’m going,” he explained. “My girlfriend is taking me on a surprise trip. I keep plugging my ears so I don’t find out where we are headed.
After two and a half hours of watching this guy madly stick his fingers in his ears (which is as sexy as it sounds) they told us to get off the plane.
Welcome to New York City!
Then we got on another plane that actually took off.
By the time we arrived in New Orleans, I was jet lagged and pretty sure I should be in London.
And boy, did I need some private time with my breast pump.
As soon as I got to the hotel, I whipped it out and then I realized, I was missing a part.
Which is when I started to have a mini nervous breakdown. Because I was going to need to find that part. Or a very hungry baby. As soon as possible.
I finally ended up hightailing it to Babies R Us in a cab ($65!) with the very kind Shallowgal and buying the part ($50!) that I needed.
Once I got rid of that burdensome $115 dollars, and pumped, I finally felt like I had arrived. Hello New Orleans.
I really liked the Mom 2.0 Summit. I loved the location (because crawfish and jambalaya always help me network and blog better). I liked that it was a smaller, more intimate conference. And I really enjoyed the chance to meet and connect with so many amazing, inspiring women (like Stacy, Karen, Rita, Aliza, Stephanie, Anna, OHmommy, Kathy, Liz, Kristen, Laid-Off Dad (who’s not a woman) my fabulous fellow Mouthy Housewives and SO MANY others).
And with the exception of when Wendi tried to keep me and Jonah Hill from starting a beautiful friendship, and the fact that I was mocked for never having read A Confederacy of Dunces, it was just an incredible couple days.
The coming home:
By Saturday night, I was really ready to come home and left on a 6 pm flight out of New Orleans. First I was alarmed that there was a flight attendant on the plane that was 107 years-old. Okay, at least 78. Passengers were quickly buzzing about the ancient stewardess. I mean, how would she help people shove their suitcases in the overhead compartments? Or lead us to safety in an emergency landing? Or have the strength to pour my white wine?
And then I became even more alarmed when she said, “We’re lucky they’re even letting us fly into Laguardia because Newark and Kennedy airports are closed due to the severe weather.”
I’m sorry – WHAT?! I had to quickly follow up with Miss Born In The 19th Century.
“Why is Laguardia airport open if the other New York City area airports are closed? That sounds kind of dangerous.”
And she reflected on her years of experience flying since the Truman Administration and then said to me, “I don’t know.”
So I knew it was coming. And it did.
For the last hour and a half of the flight, we experienced heavy turbulence. It was crazy scary. I learned later that Alina was petrified too, poor Amy threw up twice and the young cute New Balance rep from the conference wasn’t so happy either.
I was so nervous during the flight that I made a guy in my row talk to me for the last 45 minutes just to try to take my mind off the bumpy, bouncy hell ride. I now know he’s an architect, his wife is a painter, they have one daughter, they live in Riverdale, he went to Harvard and he once was an extra in “Love Story.” I don’t even know his name but he helped me calm my sh*t down. At least a little bit.
We finally landed to rousing applause and I started breathing again.
I was proud of myself. I may have lost a bit of my faith (okay, all of it) in the skies over New York. But I still did it. I did something for me.
And now it was time to go home and kiss my babies.