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There are just some things you never imagine you’re going to do… like my friend Daphne who served as a  judge for her daughter’s jump rope competition this past weekend.

I guarantee that between kamikaze shots at ladies’ night in college, she never thought about her future as a jump rope judge.

And I, as I shimmied on the bar after too many kamikaze shots, never thought about heading out on a Sunday morning to a giant tag sale for mothers having multiples.

I still can’t believe we are having twins, never mind going to some kind of multiples tag sale. I’m 29 weeks and every time I go to the doctor, I’m like, “Wow. There are TWO BABIES in the there.” I’m like one of those dogs who is so EXCITED to see his owner even though the owner was only gone 5 minutes.  I don’t know if it’s because I’ve had three miscarriages and it’s always hard to believe this is all happening or because I’m just canine-like or because having twins is such an amazing, hard to grasp concept.

It doesn’t help that people are always telling me that I’m so tiny for someone having twins. I know everyone means this as a major compliment but it actually makes me panic that maybe one of the babies fell out or got lost or something. Please reserve that “You’re so tiny” for after I’ve given birth.

But every time I go to the doctor, the two babies are still there and in normal range although the doctor has referred to the boy as a “meatball” and the girl as “petite.”

So on Sunday, we took Mr. Meatball and Miss Petite and our girls to this giant tag sale. I’m not good at tag sales. I get completely overwhelmed and just want to leave. And I got immediately wigged out by things for sale like stained clothes and used teething rings.

But I knew the trip was totally worth the effort once we saw this… the Peter Potty Urinal.

Now I know NOTHING about boys, but do they really need their own urinal?

Of course, the sale was packed but I learned a few tips like wear the bouncy seat you want to purchase on your head so your hands are free to look at kids’ pajamas.

In the end we scooped up a few things we needed and got in line to pay…

Rick looks so darn happy carrying the Diaper Dekor. Just imagine if I had let him buy that mini urinal.

As for other baby stuff, we’re just borrowing things and also plan on using the Bluefly accessories wall thoughtfully, per Tim Gunn.

P.S. For those of you who do not watch “Project Runway,” disregard the last sentence.

P.P.S. For those of you who do, who do you think is going to win? My money is on Seth Aaron. And by “my money,” I mean, all my “children’s used teething rings.”

35 Responses to i think going to a tag sale is the same as running a marathon

  • Karen says:

    Since I have a boy I can tell you that boys do NOT need to have their own urinal- and it’s a bit too bad that that woman who wanted the bouncy seat didn’t also want the urinal. Would have loved to see THAT on her head!

  • Everytime I see that damn BlueFly wall (which can we stop here and ask- am I the only one who thinks ‘fly on the wall’ when he says that?) I wonder if they actually have TWO of things or really just one. I mean do they have to rush over there to get those gold lame wedges before someone else?

    I need a life.
    Or a urinal.
    Either one.

  • Shana says:

    SETH AARON. Who lives in my local area and used to have a shop, like, six weeks from my house and I got to meet once! BECAUSE I’M FAMOUS LIKE THAT. PS: I have a son, and I never bought a baby urinal. And frankly, the boy is kind of messed up, so you might want to rethink that one. I always wondered what went wrong. Now I now. Damn, I didn’t even know about baby urinals when he was younger!

  • Shana says:

    Six weeks from my house? Uh, yeah, no. Make that six blocks. See, what happens is, when I hear Bluefly Accessory Wall, I get all wonky.

  • Cathy says:

    I went to a tag sale last week too! I’m hoping Emilio wins–he’s a pompous ass but his clothes are amazing. Seth is so nice, though, i wouldn’t mind if he won. 🙂

  • Daphne says:

    I cannot leave my house without using the bluefly thoughtfully. I guess that’s probably why people stop me all the time to ask if I’m a model.

  • Sarah says:

    @8 Diane: Re: the oak tree…our kids grew up out in the country, and our son never came inside to pee, just went to the edge of the yard. His first week in kindergarten, I get a call from the teacher, would I please explain to junior that walking to the edge of the sandbox and peeing off it is not going to be tolerated much longer? ….And here I thought it would benefit them to be raised in the fresh air!

  • Slow Panic says:

    I think Emilio is going to win….. or Seth Aaron. kinda like that Seth Aaron. it killed me when Tim was jumping on the trampoline..

    hey. i bet those twins would LOVE a trampoline.

  • Emily says:

    The urinal got me. Never knew it exsisted. I get completely overwhelemd at those sorts of sales/events. You are in the home stretch!

  • TOTALLY install that urinal and when he’s older you can put in one of those coin-operated condom machines.

    I feel ya on the tag sales – I spook easily in large public shopping events. I just lack the chutzpah of the real sale sniffers. I always get distracted and start whining about being hungry.

  • christy says:

    I still haven’t been to a tag sale, but these photos don’t make me want to go! Though that urinal is hysterical! And I’m totally betting on Seth too – he rocks!

  • British American says:

    I bought that urinal (new from amazon) and my son totally didn’t need it. All he needed was a step stool and the regular toilet – in fact he refused to use the fancy toddler urinal because he wanted to be like Daddy and use the real toilet. I am a fan of the ‘teaching boys to potty train standing up’ though, as that did work for my 2 year old. 🙂

  • Allison T. says:

    I think all of mama bird readers must have northeast savvy because no one questioned, “What is a tag sale?” I get that all the time in VA…yard sale, garage sale, sure, but no one seems to get that you might put tags on stuff to sell it and call it a tag sale.

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    I thought you were naming them ‘Mushie’ and ‘Tushy’…Looking forward to seeing them soon and I’m expecting you to post photos of the actual birth.

  • Lisa says:

    I know the “too small” comments stress you out but too big is not fun either. I got on an elevator when I was about 33 weeks and a woman on the elevator said “Whoa!” when she saw me. And the sad part was I had on a new shirt and thought I looked cute.

  • Project Runway projection: Seth Aaron. I would like to thing Emilio Sosa will win, but they’ve edited it to make us think he’s the best. And does anyone remember that bathing suit nightmare he created? Seth Aaron has never been that far off and he will definitely make a cohesive collection. Mila is just too harsh and seeing that she’s my age makes me wonder if I look as old as she does…hope not.

  • Alexandra says:

    I just want to say how very happy and excited I am for you.

    I would love for all 3 of my children to have been twins. Imagine how wonderful that would be. Twice the love to give and get back.

    Sincere happy thoughts your way!

  • ~Laura says:

    So happy for you! Twins are awesome. And this is coming from a mom of eight year old boy/girl twins. So much fun! You don’t need that urinal. Just like you don’t need two of most items. Please note this does not include bouncy seats. Definitely get two of those. No to the swings etc. Who has room for all of that? Plus, two babies never want to be in the same thing at the exact same moment. Except for those darn bouncy seats! Best of luck!

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kelcey kintner