i left my family and went to blogher ’12

I just got back from BlogHer. In case you don’t know, BlogHer is an enormous women’s blogging conference. We all went topless this year which I thought was great fun.

As usual, I tried to avoid most of the swag because I really don’t like stuff. It’s my own personal belief that weapons of mass destruction will not do us in but rather we will all be suffocated under a thick blanket of reusable bags.

Still, I did somehow manage to drink about 37 mini cups of free coffee at the Bailey’s Creamer stand and I’ll be spending the next few days detoxing at a small rehab facility in upstate New York.

I was a little envious of the chemistry between my close friend Marinka and Mr. Sun in the expo hall but I’m not going to let it effect our friendship.

You can see how he gets the ladies, right? Sort of a Channing Tatum with breakfast sandwiches.

I still feel bad I couldn’t help some poor sap who was dressed in a gigantic cartoon costume and headed to the swag expo hall but who couldn’t possibly fit in any elevator with all the throngs of people. His pleading eyes still haunt me. Well, I couldn’t really see his eyes but I’m sure they were very sad.

I enjoyed a fabulous Lifetime Moms party at Lord & Taylor.  I had the chance to meet some of the current Project Runway designers, get a makeover and find out about new falls trends. Apparently, we will all soon be crushin’ on gold watches.

I was lucky enough to be honored as one of the BlogHer Voices of the Year. Some of the honorees were asked to read their pieces and this was one of the funniest posts I’ve ever heard.  It’s written by Shari (Dusty Earth Mother) who is super gorgeous and refuses to age but is still somehow enormously likable.

The Mouthy Housewives party (an official BlogHer party co-hosted with Aiming Low) was an amazing experience.  We gave out oven mitts, magnets and pink gumballs. I want to personally apologize to anyone I offended when I referred to the gumballs as pink anal beads. I blame Shades of Grey and conference fatigue.

I miss my fellow Mouthy Housewives already and not just because they kept my sash freshly ironed at all times.

And finally, my gratitude to the family from Ohio who saw me in the lobby and congratulated me on winning my pageant.

mama bird notes:

Not sick of me yet? There’s more! Sending my kids on camp trips makes me completely nauseous. I explain why on Lifetime Moms.