I felt compelled to go. To pay my respects. To honor those children and educators. To do my small part to convey a country’s grief.
I brought an angel ornament to hang on one of the trees and I wrote a sign….
It was incredibly quiet when I was there.
In some ways, I felt frustrated. Frustrated that no matter how many flowers and teddy bears and notes we all leave in Newtown, it does nothing to bring those beautiful souls back to us.
But there is so much love and support surrounding that town, you can’t help but think we can harness that power and do something good with it.
Something big. And meaningful. And real.
Something that doesn’t include bringing more guns into our schools, like the NRA suggested on Friday. Let’s not forget that Columbine had an armed security guard. Republican Governor Chris Christie responded to the NRA’s idea by saying, “Armed guards would not be effective unless they were in every classroom. Because if you just have an armed guard at the front door then what if this guy had gone around to the side door? There’s many doors in and out of schools.”
How about less guns. Background checks without loop holes. More support for the mentally ill. More love in this world.
I couldn’t stay long in Newtown. I had to rush back to pick up my 8-year-old at school. What a blessing that feels like now. Like wiping my kids’ toothpaste out of the sink. Picking their toys up from the floor. Cleaning pumpkin bread crumbs off their faces. It all feels like an incredibly gift because they are here on this earth with me.
Later in the day, I tried to finish up my Christmas shopping. I had finally succumbed to the idea of buying those Kidrobot yummy key chains for a ridiculous $5 each. On the upside, at least they aren’t Silly Bandz. I was trying to find a parking spot when I noticed someone pulling out. I could have easily pulled into the space but then decided to give the spot to someone else.
Because if I want this to be a kinder, gentler world, then I should begin with myself in some tiny way.
Turns out, I never did find another spot. I circled and circled and finally had to get home. My girls will be just fine without those key chains on Christmas morning.
We have everything we need.