At some point in life, you are likely to find yourself at the doctor’s office with a child or more in tow. And chances are – this won’t go well. At all. Know that going in and you won’t have to suffer through crushed expectations.
I remember going to my doctor when my first daughter was just a baby. I arrived at the appointment with 3 month old Dylan safely strapped into the Bjorn. I had really figured out this motherhood thing! Right up until the doctor wanted to examine me and I had nowhere to put my baby.
Hmmm… a stroller could really come in handy right now. They finally brought a nurse to hold the baby. It takes a village. Or at least a really nice nurse.
Just recently, I had to bring my almost 2 year old son to the GYN with me. In case you can’t remember what it’s like to have a toddler, they never stop moving, climbing or breaking things. My son really likes trash cans.
So Cash spent the time in the waiting room trying to sort through the garbage cans. Then we moved on to the urine sample in the bathroom where things got very tricky. It’s actually not all that easy to entertain a toddler and keep him from destroying things while trying to pee in a cup. By the time I was in the examining room, I had strapped Cash into the stroller and was just throwing him lollipops and anything else that might appease him.
And because I never like to end one challenging experience without upping the ante, I took all 5 kids with me to my daughter’s allergist this week. Things get a little rowdy when I have all five kids out with me. Here’s an example from a trip to the grocery store…
At the allergist, Cash learned the joys of the water cooler in the waiting room. I couldn’t keep him away from it and despite his intention of actually drinking the water, he really was just pouring the water. All over the floor.
My other children were acting as if I had given them ten boxes of Lucky Charms intravenously. One woman with two very quiet children was staring at us like we were an one act play she had just happened to catch while driving through town.
I don’t know what she was thinking but I’m guessing it wasn’t – “What a fun, spirited group! I’d like to roll with them.”
They finally called my daughter’s name and we moved our performance group to an examining room where I immediately had to remove the trash can because Cash tried to take gum out of it. Even after 10 years of parenthood, a kid touching stranger gum is still incredibly hard to shake off.
We got through the appointment with some crying, coloring, whining and almost ripping down the shades.
I get to bring my daughter back in two weeks. Obviously, I need to find a sitter.