So last week I dived into the world of sex advertisements when I ran this on my site…

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I was hesitant about running the ad so I turned to my trusty adviser on all things morally questionable. I didn’t have a problem with running a sex toys ad but I thought maybe I could see butt cheeks in that photo. And I don’t need some naked tush on my site ruining my angelic reputation.

However, my adviser assured me that if butt cheeks were visible, they were very small. I decided I could live with very small butt cheeks because I really like money.

Anyway, once the ad was up, I figured I’d get a bunch of comments about my new call to “ignite your passion.” But only one reader even mentioned it.

Maybe it was because of the Roman Polanski arrest or all the hub bub around David Letterman’s sex life but you all just seemed unphased but my little ole sex toys ad. By the way, usually I’m the first one in line to hear about a celebrity’s sex life but I don’t want to know one more thing about David Letterman’s late night romps. I just can’t think about him naked.

So once I got into a groove with my new ad, then suddenly the ad changes and a new one pops up that reads, “Buy a Sex Toy, Save a Child.” Apparently, the company is donating some of its proceeds to needy children which is totally commendable except that I found the ad completely offensive. So I took it down.

As a last effort, the company offered me this advertisement as a replacement..

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But I just sort of soured on the whole thing. I don’t know. I thought the world of lotions, lubes and vibrators was somehow going to be more glamorous.

I guess it’s back to the ads for kids CDs and swaddle blankets. You can’t say I didn’t try to spice up your life. You’ll have to rely on David Letterman for that now.

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