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Aug
07
2014

My oldest daughter Dylan will soon be 10 (heads up on maternal nervous breakdown and cliche ponderings like “How does time go by so fast? coming your way in September).

Since Dylan is about to reach this momentous age, I figured it was finally time to explain how babies are really made. Like not the, “Mommy and daddy went out one night. They both drank too much Jäger and in the morning there was a baby in mommy’s belly!” version.

I made one attempt at the sex talk about a year and a half ago by purchasing two books, “Where Did I come From?” and “It’s Not the Stork.”  While some parents might view these books as a conversation starter, I viewed them as “doing the job for me.”

At the time, Dylan didn’t have a lot of interest and the books got jammed under the bed.

But I pulled them out this week and read “It’s Not the Stork” to Dylan and her younger sister Summer. I had to include 7-year-old Summer because there is no way Dylan would keep this shocking information to herself and I didn’t want the details to be miscommunicated to her sister.

I tried really hard not to laugh when I read things like this… “When grownups want to make a baby, most often a woman and a man have a special kind of loving called ‘making love’ – ‘having sex’ – or ‘sex.’  This kind of loving happens when the woman and the man get so close to each other that the man’s penis goes inside the woman’s vagina.”

And there’s a picture…

It's Not the Stork drawing

Great bedspread for the special kind of loving!

As soon as I finished the book, I said to my girls, “So that’s the scoop. Any follow up questions can be directed at daddy. Good night.” Seeing how Rick was conveniently at work, an avalanche of commentary and questions came my way.

“That is DISGUSTING,” Summer shared immediately.

“I’ve never seen you and daddy go to bed naked. Are you naked in bed? When are you naked?”

“How do lesbians have a baby?”

“Do you have to be married to have a baby?”

I tried to answer these questions the best I could in the simplest of ways – letting them lead the discussion because I read that’s how the qualified parents do it.

Since that night, there haven’t been any more questions but I told the girls they can ask me anything, anytime.

And I figured if my girls can wrap their heads around the fact that Mommy and Daddy really did this, then maybe for a few more years they’ll keep believing that Santa Claus flies around the whole world delivering gifts. Because both scenarios seem pretty crazy.


18 Responses to i finally explained where babies come from.

  • Kim R says:

    My daughter will be 7 in a few weeks and I just explained that babies come out of your vagina – contrary to her thinking there was a special opening that the doctor could simply lift and remove the baby (like an oil change). She had no questions about how it got in there – but has asked me how they come out for two years after her sister was born when she was 5.
    I wonder if other kids at school will have been in on “the talk” or have gotten info from older siblings? I don’t want her to be embarrassed or misinformed. Gah. Now I wonder if I need to move up my timeline.

  • Becky says:

    I’m 42 with a 14 year old son and this STILL MAKES ME NERVOUS AND GIGGLY! Obviously I got the playground sex ed not this magic bedspread book kind.

  • Jessica says:

    I am just so impressed that your girls asked about gay couples right away! What savvy kids. They must have some amazing parents. 🙂

  • Princess Judy says:

    When you said there were pictures, my first thought was the Joy of Sex kind of pictures and my mind boggled….. Just for a brief second.

    But on second thought, the Joy of Sex book might be an awesome way to turn your kids off sex forever! All that body hair…. all that weird bending and twisting….

  • Beth Lowe says:

    Am I the only one who thinks the couple looks really old and what’s up with their feet placement? Maybe I’m studying the picture too closely.

    • Steph says:

      I, too, wondered about the feet placement. and about how old the couple was until I remembered that I’m getting old:)

  • Erin says:

    OMG! This conversation terrified me to my soul. Clearly you rock and my girls will be hoping a flight to Miami for “their talk”. Ahhhhhhhhh.

  • Karen says:

    When I was 8 or 9 my mom gave me the ‘male gives the female a seed’ story while we were trying to get our male hamster to knock up our female hamster.
    Dagnabit if I didn’t spend weeks fretting every time a seed from their food bowl got lost in the cedar worrying that might have been THE seed and she would never have babies. My mommy didn’t go into much explanation about the ‘seed’ part. As it turned out, hot pepper seeds were not what she meant 😉

  • Tasha says:

    Well, My mother bought me that book when I was a kid and that’s how sex was explained to me as a child. There’s a second book about puberty “Whats happening to me” That I was also given. I’m sure I have them in a chest in the attic. No conversation, no follow up. Thank goodness for Playboy issues, “Porky’s 1-3” and “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” (did you know the carrot scene with Phoebe Cates and Jennifer Jason Leigh was about beej’s when you saw the film back then??) I am doing it differently than I what I got. My 14 year old and I already had a number of conversations about sex and sexuality.


kelcey kintner


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