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Have you seen this new reality show “Sister Wives” about a polygamist family in Utah?

I haven’t but I read that police are now investigating the husband, Kody Brown, who has four wives, 13 children and three stepchildren. I don’t understand why anyone would want four wives anyway. A wife and a secret hot mistress, I sort of get. But four wives?!

Apparently, he’s facing up to five years in prison.Β  He’s probably hoping for at least a short sentence so he can get a little R & R.

Are there any female polygamists? Probably not. Can you imagine being married to four guys? Four times a day you’d have to say… “The orange juice is right there. On the top shelf. I know you didn’t see it but it’s right there. It might be slightly obscured by the milk but that does not mean it ceases to exist. See. Right there. You’re welcome.”

No, I’m definitely not interested in that.

I don’t think Rick would want four wives either because it would mean he’d have to have multiple conversations like this….

“Honey, I’m upset about our twins going to college,” I said to him this week. (Note to reader… Sometimes I get myself all teary eyed just thinking about Chase and Harlowe going to kindergarten but on this particular day, I decided to get even more worked up by imagining the day they go off to college and the house is blanketed in a sad, lonely silence.)

“You’re upset about the 5 month-old twins going to college?” he responded.

“Yes. What are we going to do with ourselves?”

“Go to the movies.”

“What are we going to do the next night?”

“We’ll travel.”

“Ok. What else?”

“Actually, honey, by the time our twins are in college, we’ll be too old to do anything. We’ll probably be in assisted living and they’ll just wheel us to the dining hall for happy hour.”

“Well, that sounds sort of fun. But I’m still sad about Chase and Harlowe going to college.”

“I know,” my husband said.

I’m pretty sure he’s going to stick with one wife.

29 Responses to i don’t really get polygamy

  • Sherry says:

    We don’t get your shows so fast, but reading that made me google Sister Wives and Kody Brown. Yeah, wtf. But in my country, Muslim men can marry 4 wives. And some do πŸ™‚

  • Kathy says:

    Think of it this way 3 more wives some one to cook, another cleans and the other does car pool sounds like a dream uh? But 13 kids yikes no way!

  • Marinka says:

    I’m worried about Chase and Harlowe going to college too. But I’m excited that they have Happy Hour at assisted living! Maybe we should sign up now in case they sell out.

  • maura says:

    Ok – I just had to forward this to my husband… I’m still laughing.
    He often asks where I “hide” stuff… (It is called “putting it away”)

    Oh- and I had a discussion about not letting our kids to go an out-of-state college. They’re 4 years old… but STILL. We’re in Texas. You can’t find a school in Texas? It is 10 hours for me to get OUT of the state. Nope, they’re staying here unless we get into Ivy League… which isn’t a risk from the evidence I’ve seen from my kids…

  • I HAVE seen the show and it’s BIZARRE! No way could I handle sister wives… on second thought, an extra hand around the house for cleaning? Maybe I just need a maid.

    I only have 8 years before my one and only goes to college. I’m booking my therapy appointments now!

  • Becky says:

    I heard the guys on Car Talk (on NPR) say one time that the reason women can find things and men can’t is because men look where they think things SHOULD be, and women look everywhere. I think this is totally true.
    Is it bad that I have the attitude that my kids can go to school whereever they want, as long as they pay for it themselves? Probably.

  • annie says:

    Well I cried at Toy Story 3 when Andy left his toys to go to college so I might not be your best source for advice.

    But, on another note. I’d make the other wives clean while I napped!

  • johanna says:

    I’ve convinced my almost 4 year old to go to college in California and we can live in a beach town together, walk to beach after class, hang out like I’m young again! She’s on board and we notified my husband of the plan…it will be here before we know it so lets plan now! he asked if he was coming too and Kyleigh said she’d think about it πŸ™‚ And the whole multiple wives thing…I just don’t really get it. totalllyyy not for me.

  • CSY says:

    Craig can barely deal with one wife and one daughter, but 4?!?!?!?! The ONLY good thing (from a GUYS point of view) about having extra wives is the extra…well, EXTRA….other than that – he’d say no.

    Our children want to go to only ONE college – the one with the BEST Party record this year – University of Georgia, they have such LOFTY goals, don’t they?

  • TinkAe says:

    In re polygamy: Whether I “get it” or not, is irrelevant to me. These (on Sister Wives) are all consenting adults. Now about that college thing…plan your 2nd honeymoon (in between tandem b-feeding, of course :).

  • beachgirl says:

    I would LOVE four wives…for myself..think of it like this Wife #1 could get the kids up for school, feed them breakfast, dress them etc and then I would take over, drive them to school, smother them with kisses and drop them off. I would come home to Wife #2 peeling the last bits of banana off the floor where DS dropped them and them stood on them and she would have my freshly brewed coffee waiting for me with a homemade scone. I would passs wife #3 on my way upstairs to have a shower and blow dry and she would be sat at my laptop paying the bills, researching all the possible causes of that teeny tiny spot on my babies leg. Last but not least I would meet wife # 4 at the bedroom door…….with a load of laundry in her arms on her way to the laundry room.

    Hell ya for the multiple wives :)))

  • Leigh Ann says:

    I’m surprised they even air that. Polygamy is illegal in all 50 states I believe. I’m going to do a reality show about robbing banks, and maybe I’ll get famous too.

  • Audra says:

    We watch this circus too and my husband turned to me and said, I wonder why there aren’t women that have more than one husband? I turned to him and said, what woman in her right mind would want more than one husband??

  • Having multiple partners can be challenging when it comes to coordinating everyone’s schedule and sometimes there are bruised feelings, but these are common problems in any relationship.

    Some things that are easier though: scheduling, work, maintaining a household, having time to yourself, finances and more.

    Although the polygyny model of plural relationships (like most polygamist ones) aren’t my gig, being in plural relationships where both genders are free to have partners I can testify that the above things can be easier.

    Our relationship has been polyamorous for years. My wife is as welcome to have other partners as I am. Although I’ve never had another woman partner living with us we’ve had a male partner of hers do it. It did make many things easier. He was kind of a house husband. He wasn’t working at the time and I had two jobs and my wife one job. He cleaned, did laundry, had dinner ready for us when we got home from work. When I got home late at night from my second job my dinner would be in the microwave ready to reheat. He could pick the kids up from school if needed without us having to leave work and drive all the way across town.

    So there are some advantages to having more than two adults in a household, and if you are all interconnected through one person (such as he and I was through my wife, the point of the “V” relationship) than things can even be better.

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    How can they investigate him and for WHAT? I’m sure he only married wife #1 legally, the rest of them had a ‘party’ and a ‘ceremony’…but probably No Legal License filed with the court system. And they all work (except for one wife), so they are not sucking off the government tit to support their lifestyle. In the 70’s it would have been called ‘A Hippie Commune’…and it’s no one’s business. Children are wanted and loved, wives are not 15 years old; they’re happy adults. Government be damned.

  • I kinda don’t see the downside of having a couple extra wives around the house. One husband, however, is more than enough. Also, I can totally attest to what a previous commenter said… kids are genetically predisposed to drive you so crazy as teenagers you can’t WAIT for them to go to college. I’m thinking of dropping my 12-year old off next semester.

  • Aunt Marcia, In Utah you only have to purport to be married to someone else, you don’t actually have to be. But, just like many other laws – no victim no crime. Unless it can be shown that someone has been harmed by this situation it will be very difficult to prosecute. Hence, the State Attorney General doesn’t waste time on consensual adult relationships. Hopefully it will be the same in this case.

kelcey kintner