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So we interviewed another potential nanny. She’s young. 23. And recently married. I couldn’t believe it.

“How come you married SO YOUNG?”

Before she could answer, Rick interjected, “What my wife means to say is, congratulations! How wonderful to be a newlywed.”

Yes, I’m sorry. That’s what I meant. Honestly, she saved herself like a gazillion bad blind dates and countless online dating memberships. Smart chick.

I really liked this girl and everything went well until she was leaving and I said,

“Do you need a bathroom?” because I assume that everyone must need to pee every 7 minutes like myself and how could she possibly be at our house for a whole 45 minutes without visiting the bathroom?! She must be crippled by bladder agony.

But she heard, “Would you like a bath?”

Surprisingly, she turned down my generous offer of a bath before she headed home. Some people just don’t know a good opportunity when they see it.

Of course, the last woman we interviewed fell down a small flight of stairs in our house so offering someone a refreshing bubble bath is probably an improvement.

Meanwhile, I am officially no longer wearing jeans. At 33 weeks, 99% of my maternity jeans cut off my blood supply. And the ones pair that doesn’t, just doesn’t fit properly.

So for the next five weeks, sweatpants are the new denim.

By the way, have you seen these new Huggies’ diapers that look like jeans?

I love them. So adorable. I think I have denim diaper envy.

Although it’s a bit disappointing that the paparazzi, the security guard and the red carpet are all sold separately.

23 Responses to i am not helping our nanny search

  • 6 years after my last was born, I am still excited by the fact that I don’t have to pee every 7 minutes, I still do when I sneeze, though, when does that go away?

  • scrappysue says:

    what will they think of next! 33 weeks? you’re doing so well! how many more weeks do you think you’ll last? i mean, do many twin pregnancies go to term?

  • If she had a razor sharp wit like myself she would have replied.

    “Did you just offer me a bath? Why thank you, I’d love one, and if you don’t mind, I’d like a glass of wine and a good book to accompany me.”

  • Well what newlywed wouldn’t want to bathe in the privacy of someone else’s home?? Seriously, you can’t be responsible for much that you say at this point; any sane person knows this.

  • francine Kasen says:

    Hell. if I knew the job included a bath and stair-master challenge I would have applied! Just because Jenny’s first sentence was “Mommy don’t sing” doesn’t mean I’m a lousey Nanny!

  • Jen says:

    Married at 23 and a nanny for 4 children. That is probably the best birth control for the newlyweds. Just can’t imagine being married at 23–I still had no idea who i was or what i was doing, such the late bloomer. Laughing that some poor nanny-interviewee fell down the stairs! Promise you’ll post a picture of the nanny you end up with!

  • Personally, I would be reluctant to hire any nanny who looks better than I do. Things will be rough enough after the birth of twins without having someone around the house who makes you look worse.

  • Marinka says:

    You are absolutely right to inquire about her child bride status. If she’s going to start planning a wedding for your babies, you should know in advance.

  • I’m guessing that the veiled hint about her needing a bath didn’t make her want to work for you, huh? Some people are so sensitive.

    At 33 weeks, I was wearing circus tents. You’re doing great!

  • misty says:

    just so long as the nanny doesn’t begin taking luxurious bubble baths in the middle of the day- and justifies it by your offer…

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    You’ll be peeing again every 7 minutes when you hit 60…something to look forward to . Save those denim diapers for yourself.

  • Nap Warden says:

    What about a nice 23 year old guy? Why do the nannies always have to be chicks? I’d like to think of you hiring a nice Justin Timberlake look alike nanny:)

  • Mwa says:

    Why is the five year old wearing a diaper?

    I’m sitting in denim dungarees, but with all the buttons undone. I think I should face facts like you.

    (I’m also pregnant – just in case you think I’m a fashion-ignorant slob who can’t fit in their pants any more.)

  • I had those horrid (old) pregnancy “jeans” with the VERY BIG panel. Good times, those.

    We once hired a blind nanny for an infant. It’s a long story, and seemed like a fine idea at the time. Didn’t last long… You’ll do fine! 🙂

  • amber says:

    I confess I got married two weeks after my 23rd birthday.

    And yes, I was insane. Still married almost twelve years later though…and bat shit crazy.

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kelcey kintner