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My dad can be the Debbie Downer of dads.

He doesn’t mean to bum me out. It’s just that he’s very safety conscious. After all, this is the guy who bought me my first and only rescue ladder. Which I somehow lost. Or maybe gave to goodwill. I can’t remember exactly.

And if you’re not worried about something, he’s the one who can change all that.  He has a gift.

Oh, and he runs his own clipping service. Every few weeks, he clips out some terrifying article and then passes it along to me. Here are a few of the headlines from the last month or so.

“Salmonella Linked to Ground Turkey – Resistant Strain Kills 1, Sickens 76”

“Read the Labels Because All Drugs Have Side Effects – Overdoing it is not uncommon with these common medications. Results can threaten your health or your life.”

“There’s a Little Known Risk to Small Children – In 2010, more than 3,400 button batteries were reported swallowed, causing 19 serious injuries in children and in some cases, death.”

And sometimes when the clipping service is closed (they don’t have a lot of employees), he’ll just communicate the information in person.

My dad: Did you know that eating processed meat every day can increase the risk of diabetes by 50%?

Me: Silent.

My dad: “And eating steak every day increases the risk by 25%.”

Me: Still silent.

My dad: And 80% of the world eat insects for protein.

Me: I’m not doing that.

P.S. Thank you all for your feedback on taking care of our kids during the wedding this weekend. I love the idea of putting them all in the same room for a big hotel slumber party instead of having my twins sleep in a separate room during the wedding.

But then it occurred to us that we should just leave them at home. With help from a sitter. And my mom. And my dad. Yes, that dad. The one who I just made fun of. I hope he forgives me.

20 Responses to i already worry enough

  • Jenn says:

    Whahahaha. My mom is similar. Although not as neurotic. Not that your dad’s neurotic… much.
    She will get wind of a story and then summise all sorts of doom and dread and horror, while I stare at her trying desperately to not let my very talkative face express my innermost disbelief!

  • I believe your dad and I are kindred spirits. You should have that fire ladder. Everyone with kids and a second-story bedroom should have one. Think about what happens if you don’t have it and happen to need it. Only 40 bucks in Target…why not?

    PSA over. Oh, wait, no, it’s not. I threw caution to the wind 2 days ago and ate some cantaloupe. What the heck? my normally cautious (read “phobic”) self reasoned. I mean, it wasn’t from Colorado or anything. But, judging from how I felt yesterday evening, we should avoid the melons from California, also. Anyone want the one left in my fridge?

    On the bright side, I can snap my jeans shut now. Who needs Weight Watchers when you can have listeria instead?

  • Lanie says:

    No news is my policy (which is why I am almost always uninformed). I seem to come across enough scary stuff on my own. Have fun at the wedding! Try not to worry – alcohol usually helps with that). xoxo

  • Betsy says:

    I think it is hereditary. Gran and gramps had the clipping on their fridge. “Warning everything is hazardous to your health.”

  • johanna says:

    Grew up with a cop for a dad…there was constant reminders to watch out for something or other! I swear I’m afraid of everything now as an adult!!

  • Loukia says:

    Your dad totally sounds like my mom, holy smokes. My mom is QUEEN DEBBIE DOWNER!

    “Loukia, sign up your kids for swimming lessons, don’t forget, make sure THIS YEAR, it’s not on Sundays!”
    “Mom, I signed up the boys, swimming lessons 11 a.m. on Saturdays!”
    “… 11 a.m.? Why 11? Didn’t they have an earlier time?”


  • red pen mama says:

    If any of the grandparents are passing this information along to me, I’m cheerfully ignoring it. My brain simply can’t handle any more information unless it’s a “your shoes are in the mail” shipping confirmation from zappos.

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kelcey kintner