My dad can be the Debbie Downer of dads.
He doesn’t mean to bum me out. It’s just that he’s very safety conscious. After all, this is the guy who bought me my first and only rescue ladder. Which I somehow lost. Or maybe gave to goodwill. I can’t remember exactly.
And if you’re not worried about something, he’s the one who can change all that. He has a gift.
Oh, and he runs his own clipping service. Every few weeks, he clips out some terrifying article and then passes it along to me. Here are a few of the headlines from the last month or so.
“Salmonella Linked to Ground Turkey – Resistant Strain Kills 1, Sickens 76”
“Read the Labels Because All Drugs Have Side Effects – Overdoing it is not uncommon with these common medications. Results can threaten your health or your life.”
“There’s a Little Known Risk to Small Children – In 2010, more than 3,400 button batteries were reported swallowed, causing 19 serious injuries in children and in some cases, death.”
And sometimes when the clipping service is closed (they don’t have a lot of employees), he’ll just communicate the information in person.
My dad: Did you know that eating processed meat every day can increase the risk of diabetes by 50%?
My dad: “And eating steak every day increases the risk by 25%.”
Me: Still silent.
My dad: And 80% of the world eat insects for protein.
Me: I’m not doing that.
P.S. Thank you all for your feedback on taking care of our kids during the wedding this weekend. I love the idea of putting them all in the same room for a big hotel slumber party instead of having my twins sleep in a separate room during the wedding.
But then it occurred to us that we should just leave them at home. With help from a sitter. And my mom. And my dad. Yes, that dad. The one who I just made fun of. I hope he forgives me.