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Jun
23
2017

There comes a moment in everyone’s life when they look at their piece of crap car and think to themselves, “I’m better than this. Aren’t I?”

That’s what happened to me. I looked at my pretzel-littered minivan with almost 150,000 miles on it and a special essence that even a professional detailing can’t quite remove and thought – I need more than this in life.

I spend roughly 20,000 hours in the car a week… driving children, picking up children and blasting music so as not to hear previously mentioned children whining and squabbling and crying.  I just couldn’t spend one more minute in this hot mess of a car. If only for my own self worth.

So the search began. What to buy when you have 5 kids and know in your heart that if you buy anything too big you will be side swiping trees and other vehicles on a daily basis? We looked at everything from the Tahoe to the Nissan Armada to the Honda Pilot to the Chevy Traverse to the Infinity to the Anything Else Anyone Mentioned.

But everything seemed too big. Or too small. Or not enough space in the back. Or just lame. Or just too expensive. Or too not-a-Mini-Cooper.

I knew I had hit rock bottom when I resorted to the internet and pleaded with my Facebook friends to please tell me what to buy. This was my favorite piece of advice.

I also learned that people LOVE their cars.  But the more advice we got, the more confused I became.

My children pleaded, “When are we buying a new car?”

I don’t know, I said. I was frozen. I couldn’t answer the eternal question of our time… What comes after the minivan?

And then we made a decision. We just stopped looking. We paid to fix our ailing minivan with the convenient sliding doors, plethora of cargo space and the crushed pretzels on the floor. It will certainly last the summer. Maybe even into the fall.

Our minivan isn’t forever. But for now, we can’t quite shake it.


4 Responses to how to try to buy a car and fail

  • I’ve pretty much driven everything…I have a bit of an “issue” when it comes to vehicles. (I drove a major POS from 16-20 & it damaged me psychologically.)
    I can advise you not to buy a Cadillac crossover that may or may not look a little purple depending on the sunlight from 2006-2007, no Lincoln LS from around that same time, no Cadillac CTS’s from 2003 (unless you enjoy being stranded on the side of the road), no Escalades, and no Sebring convertibles. See, I told you I have a problem!!! Good luck!!!

  • Daphne Biener says:

    I hate cars and driving. Can’t we just drape our hot selves across the hood and have someone else do the carpool?

  • Judy P says:

    I had to re-read this post since coworkers were talking about children-ferrying cars. The best story came from one lady who traded her minivan in for a pick-up truck…a two door one with only the tiniest of back seats. She said that was her way of resigning from being the carpool mom, the soccer team mom, the ballet recital mom, the grocery mom, etc. She said other moms could drive for a change or better yet, her rarely employed husband. As a fellow pick-up truck owner I told her the only drawback is everyone wants you to help them move or pick up lumber for them. She said lumber doesn’t whine that one board is looking funny at the other board. Touche!


kelcey kintner


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