The other day I was putting Summer down for her nap and she was all like, “Can you put the nightlight on? I need more water. Where is my Strawberry Shortcake doll? Can you sing one more song? Where’s Daddy? Why does he have to go to work? I miss Daddy. Can I have some cake? Why does Pinkalicious eat all those cupcakes? I don’t want to nap. I want a ponytail. Where’s my sister? Can you leave the door open a little bit? My pillow’s wet. I need my nails painted. I’m wearing princess underwear. Can you read another book?”
And I’m all like, “Hold that thought, I really need to pee.”
So I head into the bathroom, sit down and midstream I see this staring at me from right outside the window:
Like 6 inches away.
Holy crap. That seriously freaked me out. Until I realized it was just a stupid squirrel. Chilling outside my window.
I don’t mean to be some kind of wildlife idiot but when did squirrels start hanging out on roofs and staring in windows like weird, creepy stalkers? Did I miss this in the suburb brochure?
Page 47 which clearly reads, “As a new suburban family, you will soon witness and enjoy the natural wildlife. One indigenous animal to the forests of Westchester is the adorable grey spotted squirrel which can often be seen eating nuts, scurrying through trees and ogling moms who really need to pee and wish their 2 year-olds would take a nap.”
This guy was in no hurry either because I walked downstairs, grabbed my camera and came back for his photo shoot. Hey, does this make me a wildlife photographer now?
Anyway, I think he was still there when I finally got Summer to sleep.