Husband: Let’s watch a movie.
Wife: Sure. But what?
Husband: I have two movies I want to see. One’s a documentary.
Wife: Okay, what’s the other?
Husband: The other is a biographical film. It’s called Love & Mercy and it’s about Brian Wilson.
Wife: The Beach Boys are fun. Let’s watch a preview.
3 minutes later.
Wife: Okay, so it’s about Brian Wilson’s downward spiral into mental illness and some radical therapist who basically stole his money. Tell me about the documentary.
Husband: It’s about a pet cemetery.
Wife: Of course it is.
Husband: It’s a classic. It’s call Gates of Heaven. Roger Ebert said it was one of the best movies ever.
Wife: I just can’t do dead pets. Anything less depressing? More light and airy? How about that Melissa McCarthy movie, Spy?
Husband: Let’s watch a preview.
3 minutes later.
Husband: I don’t think so.
Wife: What about The Intern? My mom said it was very good. Apparently she doesn’t have the “I don’t like Anne Hathaway” issue that many Americans suffer from. Mostly because she has no idea who Anne Hathaway is. And bonus, no romance between Hathaway and Robert De Niro because ick.
Husband: Nope, not on demand yet. The Martian?
Wife: How many hours do I have to watch Matt Damon alone on Mars, trying to get plants to grow?
Husband: Let’s see. 2 hours and 24 minutes.
Wife: What happened to the 90 minute movie? What about The Big Short?
Husband: It’s in the theaters right now. Just came out.
Wife: We should be able to stream movie theater films right into our home. It’s 2016. Why can’t we do that?
Husband: How about the Vacation remake? With Christina Applegate and Ed Helms. Only 1 hour and 39 minutes.
Wife: Yes! And Chevy Chase is in it. So we can have the “What happened to Chevy Chase? Why is he so bloated and Ben Franklin-esque” conversation.
1 hr, 39 minutes later.
Wife: That was funny! Especially for a remake. Not 100% realistic but better than I thought it would be. But seeing Chevy Chase is depressing. I want him to be young and funny again.
Husband: That’s easy. We can just watch the original.
Wife: Good point. Anyway, I’m sorry you didn’t learn about Brian Wilson’s downward spiral into mental illness or pet cemeteries.
Husband: Another night.