I’ve developed an obsession with eyelashes. You know – like the kind of obsession you had in high school with Sun In. That obsessed.
It started a few years ago when I was at one of those baby play classes with my youngest son. I would have been 100% focused on interacting with him so he could glean every ounce of enrichment from the class – but you can’t overestimate the importance of independent play. So that freed up my time to notice this girl who had awesome eyelashes.
I wanted her eyelashes.
Of course, I immediately befriended/interrogated her. Turns out, the lashes were fake and fabulous.
I immediately committed myself to focusing more on my eyelashes. I mean, my family too. But also my eyelashes.
I first tried the Younique transplanting gel and natural fibers. Because suddenly everyone was selling this product. It was the Stella & Dot of the makeup world.
And Younique really does add major volume. You just put on the gel as if it’s mascara. Then apply the natural fibers with a different wand and then use the gel one more time.
But this (like mascara) is temporary. So next, I decided to first try one of those eyelash conditioners like Revitalash that make your eyelashes grow.
My sister-in-law was suddenly sporting amazing eyelashes and she said she was using one of these eyelash conditioners. And you know what? It worked. So if my sister-in-law ever tells you to buy something (eyelash conditioner, stocks, subprime mortgages, whatever), buy it.
But then I ran out of the eye conditioner. And I forgot to buy more. And well, pretty quickly I had the same lame eyelashes as before.
Finally, I decided to really give this fake eyelashes thing a go. I booked an appointment at a salon and learned that it would take two hours to apply the eyelashes. Okay, that seemed lengthy but YOLO baby, YOLO. (I’ll wait while my mom googles YOLO.)
I showed up for my appointment and half way through the first eye, I asked the woman, “How long have you been doing this?”
And she said, “Two weeks.”
“Two weeks at THIS salon?” I said, hopefully.
“Nope! I just got trained. This is my second week applying eyelashes.”
If there was ever a time to use, OMG, this was it. So OMG.
After the first eye was completed, I took a look.
Hmm…. I don’t think so. I immediately brought up a friend’s Facebook page. This! This is what I’m looking for…
Super glam, right?
I very very very nicely told the eyelash woman that my look wasn’t quite what I was going for, had her remove the eyelashes, tipped her and left.
I’m not giving up.
I may try fake eyelashes again. Can you train children to put these on? I’m looking into it.