Buying shoes before kids…
Wake up on a Saturday morning and think, “I really need some new gold shoes.” Then go back to sleep for 5 hours just because you don’t feel like getting up.
Wake up in the afternoon and make plans to meet two girlfriends at Bloomingdales.
Try on a lot of shoes. Realize none of them are quite right. You’re looking for just the right heel height, a great fit and a shoe that says stylish, fabulous girl but not cheap hussy. Head to Saks. And Steve Madden. And Aldo. And 9 West. And some of the shoe stores in between.
This is grueling and since you only got 14 hours of sleep last night, you’re getting very weary. But you find three pairs that could be the ones. You realize you need to sit with the idea of buying them overnight. Your true shoe will become apparent. Probably in a dream.
On Sunday, you wake up and think, “I feel like something is missing in my life. It’s the gold wedges I tried on yesterday and I must have them.”
Watch a Real World marathon.
Order in sushi.
Take a nap.
Then finally head to the store and try on the Seychelles wedges for 30 minutes. Yes, these are the ones! You buy them. Mission accomplished. You can’t believe it only took one weekend to find your dream shoes.
Buying shoes after kids…
You don’t even consider dragging your kids to a shoe store because they will somehow lure you to the children’s section and convince you to buy 4 pairs of Uggs despite the fact that you live in Florida. This will mainly happen because your 17 month old is pulling every shoe box off the shelf at an Olympic speed and you’ve lost all sense of reason.
So obviously a trip to the store is out.
Instead, look online and after 4 minutes of intense shopping, order a pair of shoes off Zappos or Amazon.
Once they arrive, you forget to open the box for two days.
You finally open the box and try them on. They’re cute! But they feel a little wide in the heel. The wedge is a bit higher than you’re looking for but you definitely don’t hate them.
The box sits on your dining room table for 5 days. You realize you’re never going to try to exchange or return them. Because that would take energy. You’ll make these work.
Mama’s got a new pair of shoes.