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When you are single, it’s pretty easy to put your needs first.

You think, hey, I want to take a trip to Paris. Do I have enough money? Well, I have a credit card. And hostels are fun, right? Do I have a few days with nothing to do? Yup, I do.

Trip booked.

But then you get married and have kids and well, nothing is so simple. A trip. A cross country move. A bucket list. You don’t do anything so quickly anymore.

You’re constantly balancing various needs. What do your kids need? What does your spouse need? What do you need?

We sacrifice for our kids. Oh my gosh do we sacrifice. And they repay us with compliments like this… Last night, my 5 year old said to me, “Were you alive when Abraham Lincoln was president?”

Uh no. I am old. But not quite that old.

But we can’t sacrifice everything.

Because then we are just puddles of patheticness (yes, of course that’s a word) and one day, as our college bound kids wave goodbye, we’ll come crawling after them, “Wait! I used to be fun. I used to book trips to Paris!”

So it’s important to figure out what we want. Not when our kids are in college. What do we want now. Which is how I ended up in Clearwater, Florida a few weeks back.

My husband and I were trying to decide what to do with the kids over vacation and he utters, “Well, seeing a Phillies spring training game is on my bucket list.”

Wait, what?!

A boring baseball game is on your bucket list?!

I mean, a chance of a lifetime spring training game is on your bucket list?!

We needed to make this happen.

So we did.

We drove four hours to Clearwater, Florida and my husband thought the whole thing was pretty magical.

Phillies spring training Rick and Summer

The reality is – the chaos of our lives can consume us. To the point where somebody asks, what are your hobbies? And you honestly can’t remember anymore. Umm… I think I liked roller blading in 2004. Or they ask, what do you see yourself doing in five years? Well, I’ll definitely still be doing laundry.

But we deserve more. As parents, we need to love our families fiercely and ourselves just as much. We need to ask ourselves, what do we want from this life that is just too short?

We have to pay attention to what’s important to us. Where we want to be in this world.  What do we truly want to do that we haven’t bothered to even pursue.

It could be a hobby. Or a career change. Or a vacation. Or a class. Or a move. Or a friendship.

Or maybe just a drive to a baseball field during spring training.

Phillies spring training. Dylan and Harlowe

Whatever brings us joy. We owe it to ourselves to find it.

6 Responses to hey parents, it’s your life too.

  • Honestmum says:

    YES! Punching the air to this, wise words, we must also include our needs-yay for the game and seeing the dolphin too! Loved this post so much, an important reminder to all us parents, thank you x

  • Alex says:

    Love this post. So true! I’m like a hamster on my wheel. Wake up, go to the gym, get to work, make it home by 7:00 for dinner, help Noa with homework, get her to bed, tidy up the house, watch a few minutes of TV with Bruce, pass out by 11 and then get up and do it all over again. Sometimes I get so caught up in just getting through the days that I forget I’m a fun person with interests that have to be nurtured. So I try to punctuate the daily grind with moments of fun and frivolity, and spend time doing things that actually mean something. Otherwise, it’s just one long, drawn out blur of work and childcare. Thanks for this great piece!

  • beachmom says:

    So spot on. Love that you indulged your hubbies wish. I honestly believe this is so important – have yet to put it into action but its so important to not lose ourselves in the hustle and bustle of child rearing which I LOVE but I know the day will come…..and I will be sitting here going “now what?”.

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kelcey kintner