Spice Up Your Inbox. Subscribe Today.

enter your email address:


Hey all. It’s been some time since I’ve written. But I’ve been booked with all kinds of stuff. Preschool alone takes up a ridiculous amount of time. And tackling my sister Harlowe keeps me booked up as well.

And then I also recently got into my sister Summer’s slime. (Just try saying “sister Summer’s slime” three times fast – not easy my friends.)

Now my mom set some kind of vague rule like, “DON’T TOUCH THAT SLIME EVER” which I sort of viewed as optional. So the other day, when she was unpacking groceries or some other kind of lame adult activity, I thought I’d check it out.

It really is amazing what I can do in about 3 unsupervised minutes.

Now my mom, instead of supporting my creative spirit, got all upset. Especially since we had to leave asap to go get my siblings at school.

She was yelling a bunch which really hurt my sensitive ears. Take it down a notch lady. It’s not like I put the slime in my hair (which now I realize was a missed opportunity).

Anyway, she finally recovered and paid my older sister $10 to clean up all the slime I distributed around the house. (I think my sister should of negotiated a bit up. It’s like a 3rd world sweat shop over here.)

My mom has sort of been drowning in responsibilities because her main childcare help (my grandad) has been on safari in Africa for 3 weeks. I get it because I love a good elephant but my mom is getting a little nervous breakdownish so it’s time for him to come back. Do you hear me granddad? Put down the binoculars.  Pack up your safari outfit and head home!

Everyone has been sick around here. I was at urgent care just a few days ago with a couple of my siblings. The doctor seemed super nice. She had this mole right above her eyebrow and it seemed rude not to mention it so I said…

“I love your nipple!”

It’s hard to describe the look on the doctor’s face. She only said, “Wow. I’ve never heard the before.” A simple thank you would have been nice.

A little later on she was back in the examining room and I felt the need to really stress my love for this mole/beauty mark/nipple thing above her eyebrow so I said…

“I love your nipple and your butt!”

Again, weird look from the doctor but my siblings thought it was hilarious! My mom was apologizing profusely and saying things like… I guess we will find a new urgent care.

So that’s about all with me. I’ve been working very hard decorating my Thanksgiving turkey for preschool. The problem is I go to school with a bunch of overachievers. So my turkey looks like this…

And their turkeys look more like this…

I mean what kind of time do these kids have on their hands? Go take a gymnastics or yoga class for gosh sakes and stop working on those turkeys.

Anyway, it’s not about the turkey. It’s about gratitude on Thanksgiving. And I feel very grateful I still know where my sister keeps her slime.

7 Responses to guest post by my 4 1/2 year old son Cash

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

kelcey kintner