guest post by my 3-year-old son

Hey! It’s Chase. It’s really been awhile. I’m 3 now. Doesn’t it seem like the days are taking forever but the years are going so fast?! Like yesterday, I got 6 timeouts and they took forever.

It was for such dumb stuff too like whacking my sisters in the face and turning the playroom into water world. Just so you know – in case you ever come over – my mother is not particularly keen on toilet water being transported into the playroom. I explained to her that I was, “making coffee” but she was still pissed off.

I haven’t written a guest post in a while because my mother’s laptop broke. The shift key no longer worked which is odd because I used it several hundred times last week with no problem whatsoever.

Things have also been nuts around here with my new baby brother. I really love that kid. Especially his toes. I’m constantly trying to kiss them. And I love his face. My mother is always saying, “GENTLE!” I’ll be honest, I’m not exactly sure about the definition of gentle because no one has bothered to buy me a dictionary but it doesn’t seem to mean lie on top of my baby brother while shouting, “I love my baby!!!!”

My mother does seem to be at her breaking point with five kids. The other morning, four of us (not Cash because his vocabulary is very weak) were complaining and whining to the max. My mom kept saying something to us but who could hear her over all the ruckus.

And that’s when she threw down her bags and started screaming, “I can’t take it anymore!! You children  have broken me. If you don’t want to go to camp – don’t go! Watch TV all day if that’s what you want. I don’t care!!!” And she stormed out of the room.

Now I would definitely have taken her up on that watch TV all day offer but my older sisters got tears in their eyes and started apologizing and begging to go to camp. I think I muttered, “I’m sorry” too but the only thing I was sorry about was missing out on an all day Curious George TV marathon.

Speaking of camp – this is the first time my sister Harlowe and I have ever done this separation thing. You would think our parents would ease us into it, so we wouldn’t have to deal with any mental hardship but you would be very wrong.

They dropped us off at camp and sped out of there like they were driving Justin Bieber’s Ferrari. I cried so hard but Harlowe acted like she didn’t care at all. Miss Independent  is going to have her own apartment by the time she is five. As for me, I’m never leaving daddy or baby Cash’s toes.

Turned out camp was very fun, except for the part when Harlowe and I locked ourselves in the bathroom. It was pretty terrifying since we didn’t have any access to snacks for a whole 57 seconds. Thanks to some stealth MacGyver moves, we got out of there and mommy did indeed pick us up. Which is great because I’m planning an afternoon of making coffee in the playroom. Mom will love it.