Hey, it’s 3 year old Cash! What up people?! My mom is letting me do some guest blogging and by that I mean, “She’s in the shower and she thinks I’m watching ‘Paw Patrol.'”
But honestly, as long as I’m still in the house when she gets out, she considers herself a very successful parent. You should see the bolt locks they have to keep me from leaving the compound. My goodness, can’t a kid get out for a nice exercise walk and some solitude now and then?
My sister Dylan just had a birthday. She turned 12 or 2 – honestly I have no idea. I do know that she kept opening up gifts and I kept opening up nothing. My parents would throw me the empty boxes like I’m going to be jazzed about that. I’m not one year old guys! I know there is nothing in the box.
And my mom was all like – I can’t believe she’s 12. They grow up too fast. Why do adults always say that? They are like broken records. And another question, what the hell is a record?
If you’ve been following me for awhile, you know I do some cray cray stuff. Here I’ll provide links. Here’s one. And another. Yup, another. And one more. My mom recently said to dad, “I think Cash is getting a little less nutso.” Now that was obviously my cue to ramp it up a bit. And potty training was the perfect opportunity.
My mother is really into this potty training thing. I would say my interest is somewhere between “I could care less” and “I’m good with this pull up til high school.”
So with complete disregard for my privacy, my mom finally resorted to taking off the pull up whenever we are home in the hopes I’ll finally try out that toilet contraption I hear so much about. And it seemed like a good idea until I pooped on the floor.
Yup, pooped on the floor. And not like a petite toddler poop. Like a Great Dane poop.
My siblings were all flabbergasted and my mom was like “Let me get my camera and document this for your dad.” I should probably be grateful she didn’t stream it live on Facebook. Although who cares if a bunch of old people see my epic poop.
By the way, there is no quicker way to get your mom to put your pull up back on then pooping on the floor.
Well, I knew I had to immediately redeem myself so my parents would keep me around so I learned how to raise my eyebrows. Big crowd pleaser around here.
Cute, right? They pretty much forgot about that poop thing. Anyway, I gotta run. Need to focus on picking the right outfit for my bitmoji. There are so many choices! And obviously, the right outfit is everything. xo Cash