Hey! It’s Cash. I wanted to let you guys know that I took my first few steps! For realz. That’s how I talk now, “For Realz.” Yesterday I was a baby and now I have this street lingo. The kids grow up so fast, don’t they?
Basically my mom totally shamed me into my first few steps. The woman literally said to me, “Prince George is already walking!”
I was like, “Yes, but the kid also has a castle. So I’m not sure we are comparing apples to apples here.”
But then I saw a big spread in People magazine on Prince George while I was grocery shopping with my mother (which she likes to refer to as our special quality time). At check-out, I tend to peruse the magazines which some people might describe as destroying the magazines but we all enjoy literature in our own ways.
Anyway, there he was – Prince George and his fancy shmancy toddling.
And I was mad. Like madder than when Daddy told me I had had enough blueberries even though I had only one carton and I knew there were more in that fridge. It’s not like it’s crack dad. It’s fruit. You are supposed to have 6 to 8 servings a day.
So like any 14 month old, I turned my anger into healthy motivation and took my first few steps. And you should have seen my parents. They went crazy for it. Whoa guys. I’m your 5th kid. Easy does it. I didn’t just complete an Iron Man. It was a couple steps from the couch to your arms. But I could not calm them down. Here’s one of 57 videos they took…
My mom was probably just excited because my Memphis cousins are always outdoing us in the developmental milestones and we are seeing them next week. My mother said by then I should be Irish step dancing but I think she is being highly optimistic.
Plus with all her energy focused on the devastating news of the Ryan Gosling/ Eva Mendes baby, she has no time to teach me any step dancing routines.
I’ve been a little depressed about it myself because I honestly always envisioned Eva and I together. I cried about it for three straight nights which my mom attributed to teething but it was all Eva. We obviously can’t be together now due to the age difference but when I’m older. Like when I’m 20 and she’s…. 60. Oh wait, never mind. That might not work.
Anyway, I’m turning into a real wild monkey these days. Mom put in all these baby locks and gates but my pursuit of a nice bowl of toilet water can not be stopped. Getting into the recycle bin is pretty high on my bucket list too.
I gotta run. I hear my mom and she just said something like, “Who was playing with dirt on the white rug?”
I’m totally blaming it on my brother Chase.
P.S. If you missed my first guest post, here it is.