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I’ve got some distressing news. I won’t sugarcoat it. The firefighters are gone.

Those hunky, super hero guys who spent more than 24 hours protecting my home front, have just vanished.

Instead the city has built this, ginormous scaffolding, to shield me and my neighbors from flying construction debris.


Look, I appreciate the effort and the construction guys are nice and all, but can you just send back those firefighters? What do you mean they can’t just hang out on my block all day? They have to FIGHT FIRES?!


I guess that’s a somewhat valid point. Sort of.

Even my babysitter Kira admitted to feeling a dash melancholy over their departure.

My husband Rick…. not nearly as sad.

But judging from everyone’s comments on my previous post, apparently I’m not the only one with firefighter lust. How much action must these guys get? Particularly, when they go out for a beer with their friends at a local bar and just can’t find a single moment to change out of their gear (just like those Wall Street boys who never change out of their suits). No witty, smart pick-up lines needed. Got a helmet? Here are my digits.

You know who else seems to be getting a lot of action – the Governor of New York. Turns out very married Governor Eliot Spitzer is allegedly involved in a prostitution ring in which he paid $4,300 for a couple hours with a prostitute.

Does that seem to be a bit steep? $4,300 DOLLARS. For 2 hours.

How about a nice trip to Europe?

Or maybe a down payment on a Mini Cooper?

But all that cash for a hooker? Plus, destroying your political career AND your marriage. Oh Eliot. So not worth it my man. And now your poor wife has to be the subject of endless, “Will she leave him or not?” speculation.

So with the firefighters gone and Governor Spitzer most likely to follow, there’s nothing for me to do but focus on Color Day at Dylan’s preschool.

I know you’re dying to know so I won’t wait any longer….

Today’s color was YELLOW. Go yellow. Go yellow. Can’t stop you. You’re too yellow.

So Dylan wore…. all BLUE.

When I inquired why, she explained that she does not like the color yellow but would be happy to participate in blue day or green day or pink day.

Got it girl. No problem. Yellow washes me out too.

28 Responses to goodbye fellas

  • Gotta love a girl with a mind of her own. Plus, I hear yellow is on the outs. Doesn't Eliot kind of rhyme with idiot? My husband and I were speculating about his poor wife's plans earlier today…$4300!!?? How about soliciting a whole house of firefighters for THAT price!

  • Tully's Mama says:

    Kelcey primed the pump and sent us seeking out the nearest station for a peek at the boys in blue. I’m glad they protected my dear mamabird in her highrise but tonight here in California they did a little more. I work in Pediatric Oncology and three of our sick bald children
    (sorry, the impact was called for) were given the opportunity to shave the heads of an entire firehouse full of hotties. This was organized by an incredible charity. http://www.stbaldricks.org/
    Sorry about your Governor, Kelc. I charge my husband around that amount. It’s more with the lights on.

  • Too sad that the firefighters are gone…

    Dylan is a girl after my own heart! Yellow is a terrible color on most people- and, unfortunately, I guess this spring is all about yellow. Not a pleasant yellow either, but that really bright, canary color. At least here, anway.

  • wa says:

    Why do the poor wives have to stand in front of the cameras while their husbands admit to cheating on them? I'd love for her to just whip out a frying pan and start banging it on his head.

  • Abby Siegel says:

    Call me pessimistic, but I am writing to you all from Sydney, Australia, best place in the world, but i called my dad and said i was never getting married b/c all men are dogs and only want hookers anyway. I hope someone proves me wrong one day,but for now I am gonna enjoy the beautiful weather here and wear GREEN!!! ha ha ha

  • Jen says:

    wish i could send Luke to Dylan's school today–he LOVES yellow. And purple, and orange. Y'know it's not easy to find boys clothes in yellow and purple–except at Oillily–which will force me into bankruptcy!

  • Jacki says:

    Gotta love a girl that marches to her own band. She’s gonna work in fashion, I can see it now. Sienna Miller has nothing on Dylan.

    And I have to confess…..we have to drive past our local fighter-fighter station when we go to Walmart….and there are times I almost run off the road when they are outside. Especially in the summer when they have their shirts off and are washing the trucks. Sigh….

  • ke says:

    I thought Yellow Day was a national holiday until 6th grade — we celebrated it every year on the same day at my elementary school – i never had anything yellow, maybe mustard brown, but never yellow — it was an issue every year — but i don't blame my mom, i mean who can pull yellow off in the middle of winter? Turns out it was stinky Ms. Dillon's (a second grade teacher who nobody liked) favorite color and she made the whole school stand outside and wave a yellow tissue and sing the "Yellow Day" song — i guess that isn't a real song either. πŸ™‚

  • mp says:

    I have to share..back a million years ago when I was in my 20's I attended a trade show in NY(Javitz) by myself. I went out (by myself) to an Irish pub of sorts and met 1/2 of the NY Fire Department. OMG I had SO much fun I can't even tell you..and then eventually shared a cab with them. OMG that was fun..

  • motherbumper says:

    Noooooooooo! No more eye candy of the firefighting kind? That's so unfair. And I kinda want to know what does a "pro" do for 4,300 /hr? Do I really want to know? You betcha.

  • She's independent and she knows what she likes. There ain't nothing wrong with that. Please tell me you took extra pictures of the firefighters to wean us off slowly. Cold turkey is just mean πŸ™‚

  • Michelle says:

    Dylan was thinking the class need a complimentary color. Blue and Yellow are very nice together! Listen my 2 year old is in the Yellow Doors class at her school. We've gto a lot of yellow going on except she refuses to say yellow, she busts out the spanglish in this instance. Amarillo!! πŸ™‚

    PS Love that free thinkin chica she's priceless!!!

  • Jordana says:

    If you want a very, shall we say unqiue (old-fashioned? strange?) perspective on the whole Spitzergate Cindy Adams' Post column today is worth checking out.

  • Betsy says:

    Just a thought. If the firefighters won't come to you, you can go to them. Get a couple of your (drooling) friends and arrange a tour of your local station- say it is for the kids.

  • Madmad says:

    Anyone else notice she looks exactly like she was Jennifer Aniston’s mom? (If Jennifer Aniston’s mom didn’t have a spine and felt the need to stand by her stinkin’ cheatin’ man.)

  • Milena says:

    I like your Dylan Kelcey. You won’t ever find yourself in a situation where you have to tell her something like “if everyone were to jump off a cliff would you jump to?” She knows her own mind and sticks to what she wants. That is a mighty powerful good trait to have as little as she is. Foster it as much as you can.

  • Milena says:

    P.S. I can only wonder that the 4,300 involves extreme gymnastics and something akin to an olympic size suction, I mean vacuum or something other… everyone, I’m going to shut up now but please forgive my potty thoughts nevertheless REALLY, what else can it be? Unless you guys know something I don’t…

kelcey kintner