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People really need to start telling me things.

For example, when Dylan was a year-old, I was still using the newborn size nipples with her bottles. I could not understand why it took the girl SO LONG to finish a bottle. Until thankfully, some mother just happened to mention that nipples come in different sizes.

Well, my god, why didn’t someone tell me sooner? It’s like one of those Oprah Aha moments except that I should of “Aha’d” about 8 months earlier.

Can you imagine how frustrated young Dylan was?

She must have been thinking, “I’m sucking this thing with everything I got and I’m barely getting a dribble. I don’t have the energy for this. My mom needs to smarten up, march herself over to that Buy Buy Baby and get me some toddler size nipples. Damn. I wish I could talk.”

This time around it was Greenstylemom who saved my arse.

I just happened to check out her blog on the eve of the big Valentine’s Day when I really should have been paying attention to my children. She had her own way-too-late-Aha-moment.

She wrote that last year, she brought her daughter to preschool on Valentine’s Day and was a bit horrified to learn that all the other kids had cute valentine’s to hand out. Her daughter – nothing.

WHAT?! I. am. panicked.

What time is it? 6:37 pm. I call Rick at work.

Me: You MUST pick up valentine’s cards on your way home. Something from the drugstore. For Dylan to give to her friends at school. Oh my gosh, I hope they are not sold out. Buy something. ANYTHING.

A Peanuts 32-pack purchased for $1.99. Wow. Isn’t that what my mom paid in 1975?

Rick and I stayed up late, putting the valentine’s together. We even had a slight disagreement about the fastest way to label and fold the cards. My technique was obviously vastly superior.

The next morning, poor Dylan did not know what was going on when I thrust the little Snoopy cards into her hand and told her to give them to her classmates and teachers.

She refused.

I tried again.

Nope. Not having it.

I finally had to rely on her friend Ella to help me pass them out. Ella was THRILLED.

I was relieved.

Now I can eat all of Dylan’s Valentine’s Day loot


without feeling like a subpar mom.

Well, I had a slight tinge of subparness because we didn’t bring in sweet little treats. Or homemade cards. Or cute gift bags.

But heck, Snoopy from Walgreens rocks it.

And that evening, Rick gave me two dozen roses…


…even though, as you may recall, I described Valentine’s Day as ridiculously predictable, stale and manufactured. The guy does not scare easily.

I’m thinking he wanted to make sure he was covered. Just in case, I started feeling a little love for the holiday. Which I kind of did.

Of course, both of us caught some kind of romantic stomach virus too.

And then just before I went to bed. I discovered this


in the bathroom.

Where did this guy come from?

Is he a loner or part of a larger gang? Where is the gang? Did they go out for beer? Are they coming back?

So I woke up Rick because really, the THING was big and fat and I did not want to deal. I’m just the photographer. So he killed it and went back to bed.

My Valentine.

mama bird notes

lacoste-dream-of-pink.jpgComment on this post and you will be entered to win a new fragrance from Lacoste, the limited edition Dream of Pink. The fragrance radiates a “delicate mixture of brightness, airiness, freedom and well-being.” That’s gotta perk up a load of dirty laundry and a sink stuffed with dishes.

As usual, no fancy, sophisticated comments needed. A simple, “I want to smell delightful and delish when I’m wiping snot from kid’s face” or “Just give me the free fragrance” will do.

Our contributing papa is back in the mama bird game. Click on contributing mamas to read more.

And if you are just oh-so-bored with been there, done that weekend kids’ activities, it’s time to bring on the disco. To read more, click on drooling over this.

21 Responses to girl in the dark

  • Portia says:

    A bug killing valentine…that's the best kind Kelcey…I mean that's on my list of criteria for a man. I mean literally. What? Your a handsome, available Neurosurgeon with an apartment on CPW and a home in The Hamptons? Your scared of bugs as much as I am and hide behind ME when one appears? Buh-Bye. No exaggeration AT. ALL. people.

    I'm DEATHLY afraid of bugs. As a child I used to wake up my dad to kill those god awful scary house centipedes…you know. the kind with a million legs that are fast as lightning? I'm having acute anxiety right now at just the thought of them!

    Glad you had a good Valentines day and tell Rick to keep up the good and valiant work in the bug killing department.

  • Jordana says:

    Remember our bee problem in DC? I love that you took a picture of the bug – was that really yours or did you get a perfect google images roach because that is one LARGE-ASS roach (maybe it's all that beer).

  • Jessi says:

    Considering he killed it, he's also my hero since all I would have heard was – oh have one of the kids kill it – as he would roll back over to sleep.

  • shay says:

    I almost went with nothing too! I'm not a new mom but I"m new to the whole class etiquette thing – yikes!

    Lucky for me sil had left overs from years gone back!

    Oh and ew about the bug! I would have woken my hubby too!

    (nice roses! YAY for your hub)

  • Buffy says:

    The baby just peed on me and then my 9-year-old yakked in the hallway. Can I have the smelly good stuff please? Thank you! Love the blog!

  • Kelsey Johnson says:

    I recovered from the tummy bug a week ago and I would rather endure that again than face a creepy crawly thing like that!

  • mp says:

    We rented Zuthura this weekend..so the 8 year old decided he wanted to play with the game that Santa brought him 2 Christmas's ago..I went to the basement and brought it up..and there was a dead one of those in the box..We were ALL creaped out very bad..

  • Tully's Mama says:

    I need a "signature scent". Kick me down with some Lacoste but leave out your creepy friend. When I lived in Alabama I once called my landlord to kill a Palmetto (Southern way of saying big freaking cockroach) that was on my wall. He thought I was joking. No kill, no rent, I told him, but then again I have an unnatural response to those things. Give me a spider or furry rodent any day. Oh, and Tully, too, was tortured with the two sizes too small nipples. Thankfully she used mine for her first 10 months or she would have starved.

  • Marie says:

    I want to smell delightful and delish when I’m wiping poop from kid’s rear.

    We had a Valentine's party with our playgroup a couple years ago and was surprised when I found out the day before we were supposed to bring cards and favors and such. I was broke and had no car. I found a site with some cute Valentine poems, printed out sixteen per page, and cut them into squares with scrapbooking scissors. I rolled each one around a crayon and tied them with ribbons. They ended up being a huge hit.

  • magpie says:

    i caved this year and did the valentine thing. but i did not do it when she was two or three…other parents did, but very spottily. this year, everyone did it.

  • The Other Elle says:

    Snot on kid's face? We've got that.

    Dream of Pink? I wish! Sign me up!

    Oh. And you can keep the bug. That I do NOT want.

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kelcey kintner