I’m not a fan of reality TV. It likely goes to back to when I was 24 years old and out of 20,000 applicants, I made the top ten for Real World San Francisco. Then I was cut from the potential cast. I didn’t make the final six and I’ve been a bit bitter about reality TV ever since. But my in-laws love reality TV and my mother-in law has such enthusiasm for things that she convinced me to watch “Dancing with the Stars”. Well, I wasn’t actually sold until I heard Apollo Anton Ono was one of the celebrities. I adore Apollo. He is the prince of speed skating. I love my husband very much but I have a super crush on Apollo. So I sat down to watch the show.

I came away from the episode with three observations. First of all, Apollo is adorable on the dance floor although he must must must get rid of the red bandana. Secondly, Heather Mills is one impressive dancer with only one real leg and despite all the bad press surrounding her divorce with Paul McCartney, she actually seems kind of nice. Finally, I hate everyone who has never had a baby. Their boobs are perky and bouncy. Their stomachs are flat as my hardwood floors. No stretchy skin. No droopy breasts. It could make a girl cry looking at the bodies on those dancers. You see? This is why I don’t get involved with reality TV. Somehow it always breaks my heart.