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Last week I had to have some minor surgery.

So they told me not to eat or drink anything after midnight. And then my surgery was conveniently scheduled for 5 pm the following afternoon. Which basically means it would take a miracle for me to not gnaw off my own hand or attack someone in some kind of hunger/thirst rage.

I think it’s some kind of brilliant New York Presbyterian Hospital weight loss plan.

By the time we got to the hospital, I was incredibly cranky. But you can imagine I was quickly cheered up by an hour of “Deal or No Deal”  in the waiting room. That show makes absolutely no sense to me. There are suitcases, there’s money, there’s a mysterious banker and that’s when I lose focus.

And there was no way to change the channel. Just Howie.

Just before the surgery, I learned that Farrah Fawcett died which bummed me out because she was so blond and sassy.

And just after the surgery, I found out that Michael Jackson died which bummed me out because he was so white and sassy.  His ever changing looks aside, he was so unbelievably talented. Damn, that guy could move like nobody else. I still can’t quite believe he’s gone.

I decided to leave the hospital before any more celebs took a turn for the worse.

I twittered that I’m going to feather my hair and moonwalk all week in memory. But I can’t layer my locks because after 45 days of rain and humidity, my hair would expand about 4 feet high. And I can’t moonwalk all week because I’d look like a complete idiot.

But just know, in all seriousness, I’m thinking of them and their families (especially their children). Sigh… Those two will be seriously missed.

The very next day, a representative from NY Presbyterian Hospital called me. I figured they wanted to ask me how I liked their Howie Mandel sponsored television.

But they just wanted to make sure I was feeling ok. Did I have any questions or concerns? Or feedback about the hospital?


Wow, apparently in our messed up health care system, someone still knows how to do something right.

I told them the next time I wanted to drop a few pounds before a big shindig, I’d totally stop by.

mama bird notes:

Jodi is the winner of Blue Bunny® ice cream for a year!! Congratulations. And thank you to Blue Bunny for making June here on The Mama Bird Diaries so super delish. We love you Blue Bunny!!

36 Responses to farrah and michael

  • Halala Mama says:

    Isn’t it absolutely AMAZING that whether your surgery is at 6am or 5pm, the “don’t eat after midnight” rule is the same?

    And our local hospital has billboards and television ads about how they “treat people better.” I’m am mentally composing the letter to the hospital president that states turning their customer’s balances over to collection agencies without any warning, no letter, no call, isn’t really living by their slogan.

    I’m so glad that your hospital did better by you!

  • maggie may says:

    when i got to the part about mj being white and sassy i snickered out loud. funny. and i’m glad you are obviously up and ok. i’ve had surgeries and it’s a picnic. if picnics were in the middle of tick and tiger infested jungles without any clothes or shelter or food.

  • Jennifer H says:

    And now Billy Mays. Seriously, if I was a celebrity, I’d just sit tight for a few weeks until the coast is clear.

    (A phone call…amazing! Hope you’re doing all right)

  • PAPA says:

    Howie kind of creeps me out. He seems to jiggle his soul patch (the hair under his chin) as if debating whether he wants to feast on it or not.

    I think the show would be more interesting with fanny packs instead of suitcases.

    Some people’s fanny pacs are totally pimped out.

  • Hope you are recovering and feeling well. White and sassy made me LOL… autopsy reports are being leaked out… looks terrible… I was born at NYP and until my parents left NYC a few years ago I would get Birthday Cards from them every year!

  • kristen says:

    dude, i was in a very similar situation…thankfully, my minor surgery was scheduled for 6:30am, fasting the entire day before so i totally get the cranky mode.

    i hope you’re feeling better and like you, i’m feeling very blue about both celebrity deaths last week…feeling my age. sigh.

  • christy says:

    Sounds like your surgery went well, that’s good. We recently got a call from the dentist the day after my husband went in…they were just ‘checking in’ on him!?

  • BrooklynBaby says:

    and Gale Storm and Fred Travelena this weekend 🙁
    and Kenny Rankin on 6/9 (seems to have gone sadly unnoticed)

    I gave up DonD, 2 much yelling.

    Feel better soon.

  • chrystal says:

    I spent all weekend watching MJ tributes on TV. So sad…soooo sad. Also, sorry for the fasting episode, I had to do the same for the birth of my son. Had to fast for an ultrasound, after which I was hungry enough, only to be told that I was going to have to have a C/section that same night, so just “hold tight”…..ummm….at 6 pm. So….HUNGRY became a new form after about 18 hours of no food.

  • Portia says:

    The loss of MJ and Farrah has been quite overwhelming to me too. I found out while I was working and I actually cried in front of patients! It was so shocking! May though both R.I.P.
    All hospitals are vying for your business….customer service and service recovery is #1 in trying to keep you coming back. I do discharge callbacks on people who are discharged from my ER and they are so appreciative when I call. We save them return trips to the ER by just answering questions, reassuring them, etc. They really feell much better knowing that they are talking to an RN. I think it is the best thing EVER. Glad that you are doing well. Sorry they made you NPO x 12 hours. THAT SUCKS!!!

  • Hi! First-time commenter. I like your blog!

    That whole no eating thing SUCKS. There’s no way around it. I’m glad to hear that the surgery went well.

    And it IS amazing when a healthcare provider actually calls and follows-up. I know from living in NYC that this is a RARITY. Probably anywhere. But especially here…

    Great post!

  • Amy says:

    When I was scheduled to get my SIX wisdom teeth out I got the same routine. Do not eat after midnight and oh sorry, we cannot fit you in till 4.

    My mouth was still frozen when I chowed down on a burger. Pretty sure I bit my lip a few times but I was SO hungry!

    Hope your surgery went well and recovery swift. Take care.

  • turnitupmom says:

    It surprised me how sad I was about Michael. I think more than his death, I was sad about what had become of him. He was such an amazingly talented singer, and yes, he could moonwalk like nobody’s business. The Michael I miss is that sweet Jackson 5 boy with so much talent to share with the world.

  • patois says:

    My minor surgery was scheduled for 1 p.m. Again, no eating after midnight. Unless, the doctor smirked, I wanted to set the alarm for 2:30 and have some eggs. I wanted to, just on the off chance that I could get myself to do the whole puking-on-the-doctor thing like the last time I ahd surgery.

  • Traci says:

    I’m glad to hear you are ok, seeing how you left the hospital and returned home. Thinner… but just as beautiful.

  • Lanie says:

    I just can’t seem to get a mental image of you with feathered hair. I am doing better with the moonwalking image. Great post! XOXO

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