Last week I had to have some minor surgery.
So they told me not to eat or drink anything after midnight. And then my surgery was conveniently scheduled for 5 pm the following afternoon. Which basically means it would take a miracle for me to not gnaw off my own hand or attack someone in some kind of hunger/thirst rage.
I think it’s some kind of brilliant New York Presbyterian Hospital weight loss plan.
By the time we got to the hospital, I was incredibly cranky. But you can imagine I was quickly cheered up by an hour of “Deal or No Deal” in the waiting room. That show makes absolutely no sense to me. There are suitcases, there’s money, there’s a mysterious banker and that’s when I lose focus.
And there was no way to change the channel. Just Howie.
Just before the surgery, I learned that Farrah Fawcett died which bummed me out because she was so blond and sassy.
And just after the surgery, I found out that Michael Jackson died which bummed me out because he was so white and sassy. His ever changing looks aside, he was so unbelievably talented. Damn, that guy could move like nobody else. I still can’t quite believe he’s gone.
I decided to leave the hospital before any more celebs took a turn for the worse.
I twittered that I’m going to feather my hair and moonwalk all week in memory. But I can’t layer my locks because after 45 days of rain and humidity, my hair would expand about 4 feet high. And I can’t moonwalk all week because I’d look like a complete idiot.
But just know, in all seriousness, I’m thinking of them and their families (especially their children). Sigh… Those two will be seriously missed.
The very next day, a representative from NY Presbyterian Hospital called me. I figured they wanted to ask me how I liked their Howie Mandel sponsored television.
But they just wanted to make sure I was feeling ok. Did I have any questions or concerns? Or feedback about the hospital?
Wow, apparently in our messed up health care system, someone still knows how to do something right.
I told them the next time I wanted to drop a few pounds before a big shindig, I’d totally stop by.
mama bird notes: