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My husband seems like he’s losing steam on this whole four kids thing. I mean he’s completely in love with each one individually, but when you put them all together, he looks a little drained.

Every time he leaves for work, I’m convinced that he’s going to take a flight to New Mexico, change his name and start a new life there just so he can have a few minutes of quiet to read the paper and watch a Phillies game.

Meanwhile this lice situation isn’t shortening our to-do list. With the bugs gone, we are still in the elaborate process of washing hair with special shampoos, spraying magic conditioners and combing through their hair each night to ensure there is no return.

That’s Harlowe on the couch enjoying a little bit of “Jack’s Big Music Show.”  I seem to remember the American Academy of Pediatrics saying that your child shouldn’t watch TV until age two. But I’m sure by now they’ve changed it to four months.

When I’m not using TV to entertain my children, I have an afternoon babysitter who is amazing. She helps me with the twins. She’s great with the big girls. And she assists me with controlling the chaos. She understands that the pillow cushions need to go a certain way or else the balance of the room is completely wrong and thus the entire world is off kilter.

She’s like my neat freak soul sister. I could straighten cushions with her all day.

I hate to critique her work in any way so I cringed a bit when I recently had to discuss a coffee pot situation with her.

Namely that she had to stop cleaning it. Which makes absolutely no sense unless you know my husband. He likes to make a pot of coffee and drink it all week long.

You know why he doesn’t like a fresh pot of coffee? Too hot.

He says, by the time it cools down, he has to leave for work. So he prefers to just heat up old coffee to his desired lukewarm temperature.

So I explained all this to my sitter who just sort of stared at me and then apologized for cleaning the coffee maker every day. It’s so sad when someone has to apologize for making the world a cleaner place.

And by the way, if you see my husband in New Mexico drinking day old, cold coffee, please tell him to come home.

P.S. My husband has just read this post and wants to assure everyone that he completely loves and adores his family. And if he were to abandon us, he would go to New Orleans, not New Mexico.

mama bird notes:

Just a reminder about the Nice Job, Mom contest from  8th Continent Soy Milk! (One of our fantastic sponsors of The Mouthy Housewives BlogHer party.)

All you have to do is submit your less-than-perfect parent moment (in written or video form) and you can win a room makeover or a fabulous trip. How totally awesome is that?! So go ahead. Do it. What are you waiting for? Click here…  Nice Job, Mom.

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kelcey kintner