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Oct
08
2012

It’s the night before Columbus Day…

Which means my kids want to know why we celebrate Christopher Columbus when it was the Native Americans (now called American Indians – Try to keep up!) who discovered this land.

I don’t know but there’s no school tomorrow! And I bet we can find a parade!!

And now they want to know if the Native Americans were Jewish. Of course, they do. Because it’s 8 pm and they are in bed and they can’t possibly sleep without knowing whether a Native American ever did the hora.

Hmm… I don’t think so. Good night!

Oh! So the American Indians must be Christian, they conclude.

Hmm…. That doesn’t sound right.

Okay, kids I’ve looked it up. Turns out American Indians have lots of different religions including Ghost Dance and Drum Religion and even Christianity. I guess the Christian influence is thanks to all the white boys who showed up on their shores and I can only assume taught them the awesomeness of Christmas and Elf on a Shelf.

But it doesn’t appear that any of the American Indians have ever had a mother-in-law that made kugel. Which is a shame. But we could totally send them some at Passover.

In conclusion kiddos, I’m not sure why we celebrate Christopher Columbus because he didn’t really discover American at all but he sure did do a lot of sailing and his boats had fun names and well, you can’t overlook that kind of thing.

So good night.


8 Responses to everything you need to know about columbus day.

  • daphne says:

    Just give it a couple years — 3rd grade = study of native americans and their religions, 6th grade = social studies debate on why we should/shouldn’t celebrate Columbus. You are starting them out on the right foot.

  • Emily says:

    LOL, my kids are half jewish and half Native American (Hopi), we affectionately call them Jewpi, I AM that mother who makes kugel for her native american family, and potato pancakes, and matzah ball soup. Ironically we didn’t even talk about Columbus day over here, it’s a just a normal day for us, but I’m sure we’ll have lots of interesting conversations about this when we hit grade school :)

  • Celebrating his huge sense of self-entitlement, and now maybe he was responsible for the Christmas Elf on the Shelf, too?! I’m thinking these are things best celebrated at school, no?

  • Sylvia says:

    Gotta love a holiday that celebrates a man who doesn’t asks for directions & does it all on someone else’s money!


kelcey kintner


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