emails in a marriage part 5 (most likely better than benji: off the leash! part 5)

I recently got an order confirmation from Amazon for these…

Hmm… padded bike shorts.  Despite the obvious sex appeal, why would my husband need these? So I sent him the following email…

Dear future biking enthusiast: You have a pair of these in the attic.

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He wrote back…

What? When did I ever wear bike shorts?

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I wrote back…

On our trip to Italy. In 2006.  Remember I was 5 months pregnant and decided we should go biking through the Tuscan Hills. So we bought bike shorts, rented bikes and I lasted 23 minutes before I gave up.

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He wrote back…

That was  9 years ago. How do you know we still have them?

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And I wrote back…

Because they are in a box in the attic.

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And he wrote back…

You have a sickness.

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And I wrote back….

Now that you have two pairs, I hope you’re planning to do a lot of biking!

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Meanwhile, my husband has become quite the online shopper because this also arrived…

I am not the biggest fan of stuff. You know how most people are happy when people give them presents and free things. Well, it makes me hyperventilate. I start plotting in my mind how I can get rid of it as quickly as possible.

So I never like something this big to arrive in my home. Especially something I don’t know about. Because mystery packages always ends up being a hand painted spice rack or wagon wheel coffee table.

And because my husband and I have been married for roughly a hundred years, he knows this about me.

I wrote to Rick…

I’m panicked. What is this gigantic box that just arrived?

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Rick wrote back…

It’s your birthday present!

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And I wrote…

But how could you buy me a present when I haven’t told you what I want yet. Never go rogue. Remember how much I loved my mother’s day gift because I told you exactly what I wanted?

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And he wrote…

Just open it.

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And I wrote…

Not until my birthday.

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And he wrote…

Just open it.

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And I wrote…

Nope. You are going to have to be tortured with the sinking feeling that you shouldn’t have gone rogue for the next few weeks.

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And he wrote…

I have no worries. You’ll love it.

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And I wrote…

It’s good to be optimistic.

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That’s way too big a box for matching bike pants, right?

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Liked this post? Check out Emails in a Marriage, More Emails in a Marriage, Emails in a Marriage Part 3 (Better Than Rocky III), Emails in a Marriage Part 4 (Probably Better Than Police Academy 4).