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I’ve always had a bit of doctor envy. In my head, I imagine these scenarios where someone is hit by a car or suddenly passes out or is in labor and I come running to their side. “I’m a doctor, please stand back. I know what I’m doing,” I say as I quickly stabilize them. Sometimes I can fashion medical supplies out of random things on the sidewalk. “Hey you, hand me your belt. Stat!” Or there is a medical emergency on an airplane and the flight attendant urgently asks, “Is there a doctor on board?” Yes. Yes. That’s me. I’m one of those cool, fabulous doctors.

Of course, I’m not. I hated science classes. I don’t actually want to be a doctor. I just like the idea of it. It’s like you are some kind of super hero. My friend Adam is a doctor. Or at least he claims to be. I met the guy in a crowded hot tub in Crested Butte, Colorado in my twenties so it’s hard to imagine he really practices emergency pediatrics. But I’ve actually seen him in his scrubs up at Mt. Sinai Hospital and he uses big medical words so it’s either a really elaborate hoax or he’s legit.

Doctors are just so darn helpful. I mean I’m a stay-at-home mom/journalist. What can I do for you in an emergency situation? Let’s see. I could write about it after someone else saves your ass. Or I know, I could use my secret mommy powers and give you kisses and promise your boo boo will go away. I even have Elmo band-aids if things really get serious. You see? Not that helpful. Not at all.

I could earn a Phd and then call myself Dr. Kintner. But that’s a lot of school and I will have come no closer to saving anyone. I could pretend to be a doctor but apparently you can get yourself in quite a bit of legal trouble practicing medicine without a license. I guess at the very least I can call 911 if I witness some kind of emergency situation. It’s not much but it’s a little something. I’m keeping my cell phone handy.





5 Responses to dr. kintner to the rescue

  • Adam says:

    I'm not sure it's as glamorous as you think Dr. Kintner, but what I can say is that you are one fine writer!! Not sure if it's all that time you spent out in the middle of nowhere reporting live from the opening of the local Burger King, but you are GOOD! Many addicted readers of the blog will agree I'm sure. Keep the consults coming…

  • Kelcey says:

    It was the first Burger King ever to open in Great Falls, Montana. They lined up down the block. It was a VERY big deal. By golly, the burgers were flame broiled!

    Thanks for the kind words.

  • Abby says:

    I was there when you met Adam! I think he is a doctor. In any case they are not always right. Why do I have to keep going back to figure out what is wrong with my stomach? It's crazy. What happened that time you did some crazy bungee jump or rolling in a ball while reporting? That was cool!

  • Kelcey says:

    Yes, I was in a big ball of steel, while a motorcycle roared around me. Clearly, I was willing to do anything for viewers.

  • Thanks for every other fantastic post. Where else may anyone get that kind of info in such an ideal means of writing? I’ve a presentation subsequent week, and I am on the search for such info.

kelcey kintner