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Since I’m in the car a lot more now, I’m listening to a great deal of NPR and pop music. No judgment on which is more fulfilling for the heart and soul. I find both equally nourishing.

So I, along with my girls, are on the way to the pool club today and I’m busting out a little Lady Gaga. I belt out the following lyrics:

Let’s have some fun, this beat is sick…

I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.

And then I suddenly wonder, “Hey, hold on a second… are they talking about sex?” And then I think, oh my gosh, “disco stick” is the best name EVER for a p*nis. (And it’s not that I think you’re too delicate to handle the real word, I just don’t want to be spammed by 500 Viagra sites today.)

I just think my dating years would have been all the more awesome if my girlfriends and I could have gossiped about our love lives and used termsย  like “disco stick” and “disco balls” when referring to male genitalia. (By the way, “genitalia” is like one of the worst words ever. That word makes me nauseous.)

It would go something like this: “I had the weirdest date with Johnny last night. He was was so sweet and nice and took me to the best restaurant. But then during dessert, he kept trying to get me to touch his disco stick and I was all like – Johnny, I’m not that kind of girl. This is really inappropriate. So I don’t know if I’m going out with him again.ย  Anyway, enough about me, how was your date with Gabe? I hope you didn’t give him disco blue balls again.”

You see how the options are delightfully endless.

Or maybe I’m misunderstanding Lady Gaga.

Maybe a disco stick is just a magical wand on which children ride off to glittery places where they receive ice cream and pink rainbow glitter and princess stickers.

Or at least that’s what I told my girls.

47 Responses to disco stick

  • You are too funny! Love it. I’m going to tell my hubby I want to take a ride on his disco stick and see how he responds.

    Did your girls believe what you said? You can’t go wrong with glitter and ice cream. AFter all, that really CAN be better than a disco stick…sometimes.

  • calikim says:

    Disco Stick is exactly what you think it is…..and from what I have heard the past couple weeks, Lady GaGa may ALSO have a disco stick in her pants.

  • Kathy says:

    My sister’s five year old knows the words to that song, walks around Target singing it!! Kinda cute at first than you think WTF something’s not right! But Disney channel is so boring to sing to, or Barney please!!

  • misty says:

    ok… but your definition for your girls is so completely NOT what the disco stick is…

    the first time I heard that song I nearly died from choking. How much more clever can the entertainment industry get when it comes to these things?

  • Angie says:

    How is it possible that you seem to write exactly what I think? I’m always amazed by what appears to be a mutual addiction to pop culture.

  • vodkamom says:

    Wait, they aren’t REALLY singing about a disco stick???? I was picturing this shimmering, spinning, disco stick and NOW my bubble has been burst.

    so to speak.

  • Kim says:

    I cannot stop laughing right now! I have thought the same thing, and as I sang the lyrics of Lady Gaga, was thankful my kid is only two years old! Dirty minds think alike! Too funny! Thanks for the morning laugh!

  • Cathy says:

    it’s so nice when you can come up with explanations like that not just have to turn the radio off and tell them you’re not going to talk about it. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Tracy says:

    yeah..I’m starting to rethink the lady gaga songs for my kids. It seems a bit off when they’re singing lyrics like “riding a disco stick” and “bluffin’ with their muffin”!

  • Jen says:

    Disco stick, love it! I’ve still never heard Lady Gaga, that I know of. Now that I’m in a car all the time, I need to find the good pop stations in AUstin. ANd oh how I miss WNYC, i.e. Brian Lehr and Leonard Lopate–I’m an NPR geek! NPR station in AUstin plays alot of music but it’s certainly not Lady Gaga!

  • Shana says:

    This is my 10 year old’s favorite song. Frankly, hearing here sing along about a disco stick is somewhat disturbing, but beats “Never trust a ‘ho” and “Call my man again and I’m gonna *hm* you up.” The *hm* is where the FUCK is deleted, in case you don’t get it. Thank god she doesn’t… yet.

  • I do the same thing, riding in the car and listening to pop. My tot loves to dance in her seat. But I realized the same thing you did about that song and change the station now. Not prudish, its just more than Iw ant to hear, nevermind my girls!

  • Misty says:

    I hate to be the bearer of bad news… but there are more in-depth meanings to “disco stick.” The one I’ve heard the most of is breaking a glow stick open and pouring it on a guy’s junk so it glows. I found that out by accident and kind of wish I had never walked into that conversation. Nothing like ruining a GREAT metaphor by taking it too far. ๐Ÿ™

  • amy says:

    OMG, I seriously had the same conversation with my girls! T thought that disco sticks must be very sparkly and beautiful and her father nodded and said, “Oh yeah, they are. But you have to be at least 18 to have one.”

  • kristin says:

    OMG, I htink I need to ONLY listen to AM radio now when my kids (11 and 14) are in the car.
    And you know what sucks? ( shut UP, no bad jokes there)
    Like American bandstand, I give it a 9 for danceability and I like the beat.

  • Misty says:

    I’m pretty sure it is toxic if you eat it… I would have thought it would burn or something at least… I decided not to investigate more… I was afraid of what else I might learn… I like the shiny/glittery explanation a lot better… I cringe just to think about what would happen if you went home w/ a “glow stick.”

  • If they’re going to say disco balls, why not just say disco dick? It has such a ring to it! Oops, I hope your comment section doesn’t set off the spam alarm bells. I mean, it’s not like I said penis. Oops!

  • momtrolfreak says:

    this is exactly my M.O. on my commute to/from work! NPR & pop music. Disclo stick–yup. I’m on it (i mean, uh, figuratively). Now if you can just tell me what “Boom Boom Pow” means I’ll be all set.

  • Aimee says:

    Funny. I was in my car listening this song and thought it would be a funny a$$ status line for facebook…and then I thought….crap I have aunts on there!

  • Miranda says:

    Uhm nothing is more hillarious, or horrifying then hearing your 7 year old neice singing “I wanna take a ride on your disco stick” Oh she also will sing “You spin me right round baby right round when you go down baby when you go down down” My sister is going to hell. That’s what she says!! I don’t! I think its not entirely cute but kinda icky and oddly facinating. Even better when the 7 year old sings the wrong words to inappropriate songs and the 5 year old brother corrects her!
    Awesome! When I was three…I sang “lets get physical” but I would say “lets get diddidol dididol”

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kelcey kintner