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On Saturday, we shoved my atheist father between two jumbo car seats in the back of our Jeep and headed to my husband’s parents’ house for a boisterous Passover seder.

Best Moment of the Seder: Singing “There’s No Seder Like Our Seder” to the tune of “There’s no business Like Show Business.”

Worst Moment: “When a 4 1/2 year-old instructed me how to pronounce, “Haggadah.” Look, if I went to Hebrew School, I would so know too. Plus, she jumped in so damn quickly. I’m sure I would have figured it out.

On the way home, my daughters, Dylan and Summer, drifted off somewhere near exit 6 on the Jersey Turnpike and the conversation turned to the light and breezy topic of GOD.

I asked my father if he believes in God or a Higher Power. He does not.

I asked him if he believes in reincarnation. He does not.

I asked him if believes we reconnect with our loved ones in some kind of afterlife. He does not.

He feels that we have one life and then that’s IT. DONE. And he’s actually comforted by this thought. He’s satisfied to play his minuscule part in the history of evolution.

Jeez Dad, way to bum a girl out.

Wait… I’ve got it! What about the white light? People, who have near death experiences, always talk about that comforting, peaceful white light. That must signify a heaven, an afterlife, the path to enlightenment… something!

“Maybe it’s just peaceful and comforting to die, ” my dad responds.

It’s kind of dark out on this highway and this guy is really spooking me out.

I respect his opinion but I just can’t accept it. We are such emotional, connected beings. We love so intensely. We feel so much. We are so draw to certain people in our lives. I just believe that someday my soul (minus the poochy, saggy post babies’ belly and forehead wrinkles) will reconnect with the souls of my loved ones.

In future spiritual realms, will my soul be hanging with my bitter, curmudgeon building superintendent Kent who believes every apartment problem can be fixed with some tinfoil and a McDonalds’ plastic tray? No way.

Will I be swaying, like I’m in some kind of Corona Lite ad, on an eternal hammock by the ocean with my husband? I hope so.

Will I be googling ex-boyfriends, 3-thousand years from now, just to see what they’re up to and if they still have hair? I’m so sure.

I really hope they have cafe mochas and google in the afterlife. And sushi. And Project Runway. On Bravo or Lifetime. I’m flexible like that.

Later that night, we returned to New York City and put the girls to bed.

My dad, who was staying the night, came over to me and said, “You know, I really hope you’re right.”

Me too Dad. Me too.

mama bird notes

When you think of a Higher Power, do you think of Land’s End? No? Ok, me neither. But they do have some cute kid’s stuff. Click on drooling over this to read more.

Do you have a Blackberry baby? If yes, click on NYC Moms Blog to read about my “youngest child.”

Finally, Valerie is the winner of the The ART:archives giveaway. Congratulations Valerie!

27 Responses to dear god, it’s me kelcey

  • Cat says:

    I'm all for the reunification of souls thing, sometimes I'm pretty sure it's happening to me in this life, so why not the past or future?

    PS your building superintendent isn't Kent Finne by any chance?

  • Lulu says:

    First off, you make me laugh – your title is classic.

    I sympathize with you and your dad – my husband and I are in the same boat – he's the way your dad is. He thinks it's simply 'lights out.'

    I disagree, but … we'll just have to see, won't we?

    Great post.

  • Jordana says:

    I LOVE that the Folbaums have a "No Seder Like Our Seder" song – did they make it up? I want details!!! BTW, at our seder Sunday night Ava went Dayanu crazy – just saying it over and over again! Enough ( :

  • misty says:

    It makes me sad too when people don't believe in something. I just think a life without that sort of hope is, well, hopeless. (profound, I know….)

  • Becky says:

    You're Dad seems very sweet. But I'm with you! Although you forgot to mention pedicure in the Afterlife – along with Google and Lifetime. I can't go eternity with bad heels!

  • Queen Goob says:

    Sounds like you gave your dad a bit of hope…..I hope you're right, too.

    And I am SO all about the hammock, the tropics, a laptop covering my post-baby tummy, Google, and margaritas served to me by Cocoa my pool boy. If that ain't heaven…..

  • Erin says:

    I am like you, I believe there's more to life after we die. Wouldn't it be depressing if all we had was this earthly life. I want to go where I am loved simply and unconditionaly. Oh, and some Corona and hammock would be awesome. Maybe there is a Starbucks in Heaven!

  • Susan says:

    Deeply touched by the intimacy of this mamabird and it was a unique moment of connectedness as I love and respect deeply all those tucked snugly into the car and those waiting in NJ!

    A prayer emerged from my heart as I read…"May we all use our "not knowing" and our finiteness to fully live in the present moment knowing that it is the only moment and a most precious one regardless of what went on before or might happen in the future. When I remember to ask my higher power for guidance, particularly when faced with confusion and fear, he/she/my inner soul gently removes my ego from the situation and guides me to respond (sometimes!) with love, compassion, kindness and acceptance, I can almost be "the kind of person my dog thinks I am"! xoxo momala

  • Bitsy says:

    You are right that there is something more. We all have some faith (or hope) and some doubt. I keep going back to this:

    "I do believe, help my unbelief". Mark 9:24

  • Tully's Mama says:

    Gosh, Kelcey, I don't know what to say. What a post. Thank you for that insight! On a more heathenist level, did you check out the new steamy Gossip Girl ads? Those kids need to get to temple, or to mass, or wherever they can to pray for their sorry souls. I'm no prudie but those ads totally offend me on so many levels. I'm not sure about you, but when I was their age I never threw back my head in ecstasy. I still don't but that's for another blog.

  • mp says:

    Everything about this post was brilliant..this is material that should be published somewhere. I want everyone to read this. It's funny, thought provoking..snarky…it has everything.

    I used to have 100% faith, hope and trust..now…I'm kinda with your dad..I hope you are right…

  • holli says:

    Believing the people I love are waiting for me in heaven is the only thing that keeps me going sometimes. Faith is our greatest source of strength, regardless of the specific religion… sometimes hope is the first step.

    I loved this post.

  • Valerie says:

    Well some higher power was looking out for me and my piles of kid artwork that I cannot part with and helped me win the prize! Thanks Kelcey!

  • Memarie Lane says:

    I have a tough time with that one too. I believe in God and consider myself a Christian, but there are many things about Christianity I can't quite come to terms with. And I very much want to believe in an afterlife, the thought of there not being one terrifies me. At the same time I have a hard time swallowing the possibility that there could be one too.

  • Tommy-Tom says:

    With all due respect to Rachel, Jacki, Jessi, and Bitsy, none of us "know" what lies ahead; we simply have beliefs. My beliefs leave me not at all depressed or hopeless, in fact, just the opposite, with great calm, wonder, and pleasure at my infinitesimally small but immensely important (depending on how I choose to live my life) part in the absolute splendor and magnificence of the ongoing evolution of the universe and all of the life forms within it.

  • Shay says:

    There's just no way to know for sure for sure but I'm about as sure as I can be that I'm going to be with the Lord when I pass on…and my loved ones too…I'm not sure I could face the world we live in right now without this hope!

    Okay enough with the heavy…I'm pretty sure there'll be sushi BUT no Project Runway…sorry lol. Oh and dogs! There have to be dogs!

  • susiej says:

    What a sweet, lovely post. I know… I know there's a God, and when I explain it all, I look hopelessly stupid, so I try not say much to get the atheist all the ammunition they need.

    Interesting though, I have read that most med students go into the field as atheist. After a few years as a doctor, they become believers.

  • I'm with your Dad. :o) I'm not sure why people think that not believing in a higher power automatically makes your life hopeless and/or depressing. This 'earthly life' is amazing and fulfilling and I know what a genetic lottery I won to even *exist.* I am loved by so many and I love them back. And, that is enough for this girl.

  • Milena says:

    While I totally respect and understand your father's point of view, I'm of the mind that there is too much perfection in this world for the existence of what can only be deemed as miraculous, to have been something haphazard and unplanned. Of all the arguments for a higher power, nothing sways me to the degree of belief in its existence as this rationale does. I guess that by the same token, I also belief in the afterlife, a place for which this, our earthly life, is just an antechamber and practice. I can only hope like you that it is full of goodness and everything dear. What could be more perfect than that? Lovely post Kelcey. Touching, funny and thoughtful. As always, a Kelcey way of wrapping things up.

kelcey kintner