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Nov
19
2010

Everyone is just so shocked that Bristol Palin edged out Brandy and is still on “Dancing with the Stars” despite low scores.  I’ve watched the show for about 8 minutes so I feel fully qualified to speak on the issue.

One of three things is happening here…

1. It’s a massive tea party effort to achieve their three key goals of cutting back the role of government, lowering taxes and crowning Bristol the winner of “Dancing with the Stars.”

2. She’s a really good dancer but the liberal media is making her look like a bad dancer with their lefty leaning lights and socialist smoke and mirrors.

3. The voting public, who also enjoys “Jersey Shore” and “Two and a Half Men” knows that Bristol Palin is a hell of a lot more entertaining to watch than some R & B singer. What’s her name? Oh yeah. Brandy. I mean, would some guy have shot up his television screen if Brandy went to the finals? Very doubtful.

Meanwhile, in other news, I am so sick of hearing about Kate “I’m Going To Be a Princess” Middleton. We don’t need British royalty. We have our own.

1. Sarah Palin: Pretty. Charming. And maybe not so smart. But whoever said royalty was smart? Remember that Prince Charles always preferred Camilla Parker Bowles to the lovely Diana. How brilliant could he possibly be?

2. Mr. and Mrs. Tom Cruise: “Risky Business” and “Dawson’s Creek” all in one family? Obviously they are a notch above us all.

3. Eva Langoria and Tony Parker: An actress. A sports star. Both very good looking. Together these two could reign over America for decades to come. Wait – what? They broke up over inappropriate texting and a possible affair? Oh drat. They’re off the list.

4. Oprah: At the very least, she’s the queen of talk shows. And her prince Gayle seems quite regal indeed.

5. Lady GaGa: Nobody wears a meat dress unless they’ve got some royal blood.

Yeah, take that Britain.

And don’t think I’ll be getting up at 4 am to watch your stupid, 30 foot long lace train, fancy shmancy, regal affair. I’d rather sleep than watch that dumb wedding live.

I’ll just watch it on DVR later in the day.


19 Responses to dancing stars and american royalty

  • Abby says:

    Kelcey, your best post ever. Maybe cuz you wrote everything that’s been going on in my head. We were together when Diana died, perhaps we can have a sleepover during the royal wedding because it so doesn’t interest me! Britney and Justin were our royalty and that didn’t last either. 🙂 xo

  • tracy says:

    Still coming to terms with the fact Bristol is in the finals, and making the assumption from the DWTS results that now Sarah Palin will be president in 2012.

    With this news, I am shaving 15 years off my age, moving to Britain, and trying to convince Harry that I am totally princess material – with or without my 3 children, crows-feet and saggy boobs.
    xoxo,
    Tracy

  • Agreed on all points. And while we’re on the dreaded subject of the much-too-often-analyzed Bristol Palin dancing sitch, can I just ask why is she the only “star” on the show who has yet to get whipped into kick-ass shape by the show? Seriously. She’s young and nubile, but let’s see some of that “working (her) butt off” yield some results! Not that being in awesome shape matters, it’s just that then we could say something nice about her.

  • Agreed on all points. And while we’re on the dreaded subject of the much-too-often-analyzed Bristol Palin dancing sitch, can I just ask why is she the only “star” on the show who has yet to get whipped into kick-ass shape? Seriously. She’s young and nubile, but let’s see some of that “working (her) butt off” yield some results! Not that being in awesome shape matters, it’s just that then we could say something nice about her.

  • CSY says:

    My husband has the hots for Sarah Palin…because he has the hots for Tina Fey and they look SO much alike! (insert eye roll) So during the whole election thingie we had to wath the SNL’s just for Tina Palin/Sarah Fey…I giggled when Emenim had a SP look-a-like on one of his videos – FUNNY!!!! But NEVER as funny as you in your sleep deprived way!

  • Shana says:

    You’re making light of two things that I have been losing sleep over: Bristol on DWTS and the Royal Wedding. Seriously. I am, like, all worked up about both of them.

  • Name: Mark says:

    I thought this was a dance competition not a political arena. Jennifer and Derek should win and if they don’t I guess they can take the show off the air. I know I won’t watch it anymore!


kelcey kintner


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