Then he taught his twin sister Harlowe.
So I immediately borrowed a crib tent from a friend which turned out to be recalled.
And then I was about to borrow another one. Also recalled.
And because I’m prone to genius moments, I thought, hey, maybe a lot of crib tents have been recalled and I googled madly. Yes, indeed. RECALLED. RECALLED. RECALLED.
I was about to throw some strawberry netting on top of their cribs when I realized that maybe gardening supplies are just as dangerous as recalled crib tents.
And that’s when we put a lock on their door. On the outside.
And yes, they still got out of their cribs at bedtime but they couldn’t leave. I would sit outside their door as they tried to get out of the room, finally giving up and falling asleep together in a weepy heap on their rug. I would lovingly put them back in their cribs at which point, they would jump out again, cry hysterically and again, retreat to the rug. Over and over and over again.
And not wanting their evening performance to outshine their mornings, they began leaping out of their cribs at 5:30 in the morning. Which meant I would put them back in and then sleep on that previously mentioned rug myself to insure they did not escape. Or at least I would try to sleep but it was hard with them taunting me from their cribs with chants like, “MOMMY SLEEP!! MOMMY SLEEP!! I SEE MOMMY SLEEP!”
That’s where you’re wrong twinsie’s. Mommy is not sleeping. I’m just lying here. Like an a**hole listening to you crazy people because all the crib tents are recalled!!!
I did this from 5:30 am until 7 am. Every single morning. Except when Rick did it.
And at 7 am, when I would shout from the floor, “Okay guys. It’s morning. You can get out of your cribs, they actually had the audacity to reach out their arms and say, ‘Help!” which may or may not have caused me to have a small emotional breakdown because obviously they were seriously messing with me.
So this went on and on and then something happened.
Our strategy sort of, maybe worked.
For the past several days, they have gone to bed without any protest and in the mornings, chatted amongst themselves in the safe confines of their little cribs until 6 am.
I’d prefer 7 am.
We’re working on it.