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So I’ve been waiting. Waiting for this hamburger phone (a promotional item from the crazy good movie “Juno”)


to be removed from my husband’s side of the bureau. It was given to Rick about a month or so ago at a movie screening. Now, day after day, it sits there. With no purpose. Just taking up space. Apparently, just in case Rick happens to wake up one day with a fierce hankering to reach out and touch someone with a hamburger. So far this has not happened.

Normally, I (AKA Anti-Clutter Patrol Chief) would just make it disappear. But now I’m sort of fascinated by how long he’ll let that burger just hang out there. If only the burger had a close friend – like an iPod in the shape of a side of fries.

Due to our limited closet space, Rick did recently clean out his closet and found this gem: a pair of stylin’ leather pants circa 2000.


It was in the Goodwill pile until I coerced him into trying the pants on. So we laughed about how we used to go out for dinner, both wearing our cool, trendy leather pants. God, I wish I was kidding.

And then Rick says, “Maybe I should keep them.”

Me: What?!

Rick: Well, you know, just in case, I dress up as a cowboy someday for Halloween.

Me: Oh. That seems kind of… I don’t know… UNLIKELY. You hate dressing up for Halloween. And don’t cowboys wear jeans anyway?! I thought they’re all about the denim.

Rick: Hmm… I don’t know.

We both momentarily ponder a cowboy’s wardrobe but come up with no definitive answer.

Rick decides to keep the leather pants. Oh snap. That’s when it really hits me. That Juno hamburger phone ain’t going nowhere.

Meanwhile, we recently woke up to snow in New York City. This means pushing and yanking my stroller through this…


And sloshing through massive puddles like this…


And if that didn’t slow me down enough, walking takes an excruciatingly long time because…


3 1/2 year-old Dylan wants to explore every inch of snow, even though her sister is pretty Les Misérables in the stroller. But there is reason to celebrate because the post office is nearly empty due to the nasty weather. And after we’ve mailed our packages, Dylan takes the opportunity to pee just outside.


This should be sufficient proof for all you nonbelievers in the portable potty. With that done, we can go home and change into warm, dry, pink clothes.


By the weekend, the snow had mostly melted and that’s when Princess Katie and Racer Steve rocked our Sunday. I am definitely not one to swoon over children’s tunes but this band mixes all kinds of music (like rock, swing and funk) with shot glasses of humor and attitude. But it’s mostly the tiara that I love. This is Princess Katie. Pretty cool, right?

With my wedding behind me (yes, of course, I wore a tiara. As if I would miss that opportunity.) and no bachelorette parties on the horizon, I’m always looking for new venues where it’s acceptable and even encouraged to don a tiara. There is no quicker way to go from feeling sort of drab to simply fabulous.

And I’m telling you, at the Princess Katie and Racer Steve concert, I spotted moms wearing their sparkly head pieces proudly. Now Dylan did this…


And Summer did some of this…


Oh please. I only let her drink coffee on the weekends. But most of the time, Miss Pouty and Miss Caffeine were unbelievably entranced and enthralled with Princess Katie and her crew. I wonder if Katie is looking for an assistant to polish that tiara. Maybe she’d even let me wear it now and then.

27 Responses to cravin’ a burger + a tiara

  • Tommy-Tom says:

    DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT unbox or discard the Hamburger Phone. Seal it up in a large zip lock; keep it for 20 years; put in up on E-Bay; go out to dinner with the proceeds (minues the 10% you send to me for this amazing idea).

  • JoLynn says:

    Boy did I miss my computer and all the fun your having while I was in Florida!! Not too happy to be back to winter and snow!!! At least it doesn't bother Dylan when she has to pee, right!!! Oh well, at least I can look forward to the boy's going back to school tomorrow!

  • I really must get a portable potty seat. That thing is amazing!

    And I agree that Princess Katie looks just like you… and what girl would pass up an opportunity to to wear her tiara, I ask??

  • Kelcey says:

    Ok Ok I'll admit it. I'm Princess Katie. Ha. I wish. If only it was true.

    And just to clarify – I don't really let my kids drink coffee.

  • Buffy says:

    for the record, hot coffee snorted thru the nostrils upon viewing leather pants followed by adorable one whizzing outside still burns…

    dying ovah heah…soooooo missing the snow…

  • you are so totally cracking me up.

    i grew up in nyc and don't think i once peed on the sidewalk. she's bold! and mod!

    sadly for me, i know all too well the husband-who-hangs-on-to-everything. it's maddening.

  • Jessi says:

    You totally crack me up!

    I have a hubby who holds onto everything here. Today I went to throw out some old earrings (clip ons) and he freaked out! Oh jeez –

  • Well, I am actually Princess Katie & was tipped off by 2 mothers about this fun conversation. I'm beyond thrilled that you enjoyed the concert and sportin' your tiara. Nothing says, "I've arrived" more than some royal headwear…trust me, it's what I do. I do hope to see you at another concert and welcome you to again wear your tiara, be it a costume concert or not. However, I must draw the line at those leather pants. I just got Racer Steve to dump an aqua/black paisley jacket with shoulder pads that the cast of Dynasty would've killed for! Keep rockin' royally!

  • Tully's Mama says:

    Kelc – besides your Fox-y famous husband, is Princess Katie mamabird's first celeb poster? You know this makes my week.

  • My husband's nightstand is adorned with two toy airplanes, 3 business cards and an old chapstick, all of which migrate back to their homeland after being picked up by this anti-clutter chief bi-weekly. 😉

  • Allison T. says:

    Okay, I'll put on my black satin pants (affectionately know by me as "my dance pants") if you'll get Rick to give me the hamburger phone. As soon as I saw it in Juno I felt like a middle-schooler who to have Molly Ringwald's room in 16 Candles. Okay, so maybe me in my dance pants is no longer a good way to get people to do me favors, but you get the point, right? Okay, okay, I'm going to put them in the "donate" pile right now…

  • Aunt Marcia says:

    For everyone growing up in NYC in the 40's & 50's, peeing in the street was perfectly acceptable for girls and boys; rather than climb up 3 flights or even an elevator ride (you might pee in the elevator if you really Had To Go). So Mom's all over, pulled down your pants and hung your ass over the curb if you were female; the boys just whipped it out. No one gave it a second thought or look. At least not in the Bronx…

  • Marie says:

    I wore a tiara too. I still have it! I also wore jeans, a red t-shirt that said "Y-Not?" a black belt with red flames, Harley boots, and a sparkly white marabou cardigan.

  • Milena says:

    You are quite the photojournalist. This read was delightful. I don't know Princess Katie but I guess that now I will have to check her out. You knew from the get-go those pants were going nowhere. I myself could tell and I hadn't even finished reading your post. Make him take them out and try them on every couple of years or so.

  • Abby Siegel says:

    After rereading this post I still think Kelcey is really Princess Katie, and that Summer is her mother's daughter-look at her chugging a cocktail at a concert! She's just practicing for when she also goes to Tulane.

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kelcey kintner