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The other day I got in my car and the gas gauge was on empty. Not a little above empty. In fact, almost dipping a bit below empty. So I did what any responsible person does in this situation…

I drove to the grocery store to buy candy corns.

Because how damn awesome are candy corns?!

I guess I could have stopped for gas but I didn’t want to take the chance that the store might run out of candy.

As soon as I arrive, I looked for the “How Damn Awesome Are Candy Corns” display but only saw bags of inferior Halloween candy like 3 Musketeers by the front registers. So I head to the candy aisle. Which is about 1/2 mile away because this is a Super Stop & Shop.

I get more exercise at Super Stop & Shop than at a spinning class. (In all fairness, I haven’t been to a spinning class since 1998 but I can’t imagine it’s changed that much. Get on a bike. Sweat your balls off. Get off. Feel less guilty about eating a blueberry scone.) The Super Stop & Shop is just so big (hence the “super”) and I always invariably forget something in aisle 1 and realize it when I’m in aisle 57. They really should have a trolley service where you can ride back and forth.

So I huff it to the candy aisle and man, there is a lot of candy. But not one candy corn. I look again. None. I check my watch. I have to get home to breastfeed. This has been a sad excursion.

I tighten my running shoes and sprint back to the exit and I’m about to leave the store when I ask myself, “How can a grocery store that sells greeting cards, wrapping paper and lawn chairs, not have candy corns?!!”

I spot an employee and beg her to help.

“Oh, they are in the Best sellers aisle,” she explains.

Best sellers aisle?!

Turns out, that’s where all the Halloween loot is.  Obviously much more intuitive than just putting the candy in the candy aisle. I grab my sweet, delectable corns and go.

And no, I did not remember to get gas on the way home.

27 Responses to candy is the new crack

  • KandiLand says:

    I’m with you on the candy corn thing. And did you know not all candy corn is created equal? There is a brand that is better than all the others! Of course right now I can’t remember what it is! ;)

  • prudie says:

    I had to try and find caramels last night because I had committed to bringing 15 caramel apples to my daughter’s daycare TODAY!
    I had to go to 5 stores before I could get my hands on some and one store even told me it’s too far in the back of our inventory; we’d have to dig it out come back tomorrow.
    So much for customer service. And I was up until 2 in the a.m. making caramel apples.
    Next time I’ll just bring them a bag of candy corn.

  • Amy says:

    Your blog is so darn funny!! haha

    Of course the best candy corn is the chocolate kind….the ones with the brown on top instead of the yellow. Yum yum!! Candy corn is a busy mom’s crack, kinda the same as Krispy Kremes but with less fat.

  • annie says:

    Funny thing, I hate candy corn yet every year I feel the need to try them again to see if I like them yet. THEN – I can’t stop eating them to save my life. Crack is right!!

  • Meg D says:

    Wait! You haven’t taken a spinning class since 1998? You gotta try Soul Cycle, they will show you a few new tricks (push ups and hand weights on the bikes!) Try that out and then you can eat all the candy corn you want.

  • Dana says:

    Mmmmm. Candy corn. Do you bite the white part off, then the orange part, then the brown? It makes it last longer so you don’t eat so many.

  • Valerie says:

    I have never liked candy corn. But, I do get the whole search thing, hilarious. I’ve done that with caramels and red vines. You’re hilarious!

  • TinkAe says:

    Candy corns? Blech!!! Daphne, I’m w/you.

    Kelcey, don’t feel bad. I have never even heard of a “best seller isle”. “Seasonal isle” maybe…

  • Peta says:

    crack indeed. not falling for it this year. because “I needed the candy corn” is probably not an good defense for body slamming your child.

  • candy corn … I tell the kids “oh no, the store is sold out” only so that I can eat the whole damn bag myself. Which I don’t recommend b/c of that whole furry residue they leave on your teeth. Also I have been told by a very reputable source that candy corn from Citarella is DIVINE. Way better than the high fructose Brach’s stuff. But in either case your post reminds me that I DON”T HAVE ANY CANDY CORN IN THE HOUSE.
    This situation must be remedied immediately.

  • amourningmom says:

    What did you and Rick end up being for the Halloween party? Hope that you all have a very Happy Halloween and that the girls bring home a lot of candy corn (and that Rick fills up the gas tank). Miss you! xoxo

kelcey kintner


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