The other day I got in my car and the gas gauge was on empty. Not a little above empty. In fact, almost dipping a bit below empty. So I did what any responsible person does in this situation…
I drove to the grocery store to buy candy corns.
Because how damn awesome are candy corns?!
I guess I could have stopped for gas but I didn’t want to take the chance that the store might run out of candy.
As soon as I arrive, I looked for the “How Damn Awesome Are Candy Corns” display but only saw bags of inferior Halloween candy like 3 Musketeers by the front registers. So I head to the candy aisle. Which is about 1/2 mile away because this is a Super Stop & Shop.
I get more exercise at Super Stop & Shop than at a spinning class. (In all fairness, I haven’t been to a spinning class since 1998 but I can’t imagine it’s changed that much. Get on a bike. Sweat your balls off. Get off. Feel less guilty about eating a blueberry scone.) The Super Stop & Shop is just so big (hence the “super”) and I always invariably forget something in aisle 1 and realize it when I’m in aisle 57. They really should have a trolley service where you can ride back and forth.
So I huff it to the candy aisle and man, there is a lot of candy. But not one candy corn. I look again. None. I check my watch. I have to get home to breastfeed. This has been a sad excursion.
I tighten my running shoes and sprint back to the exit and I’m about to leave the store when I ask myself, “How can a grocery store that sells greeting cards, wrapping paper and lawn chairs, not have candy corns?!!”
I spot an employee and beg her to help.
“Oh, they are in the Best sellers aisle,” she explains.
Best sellers aisle?!
Turns out, that’s where all the Halloween loot is. Obviously much more intuitive than just putting the candy in the candy aisle. I grab my sweet, delectable corns and go.
And no, I did not remember to get gas on the way home.