I had my first boy seven months ago.
And to be honest, I still don’t really know what to call his privates. Like when I’m calling the doctor to discuss a rash, I get all pathetic and nervous and sort of mumble as I try to describe that area.
So I asked the only other male in my house.
“Honey, what’s the conversational term for that?” I pointed to Chase.
“No. I’m all clear on the penis. Just below. How do you refer to that part?”
“His scrotum. Or his testicles.”
“Hmm… That’s it? I was hoping for another option. Those words are just – I don’t know – awkward.”
So I asked my dad. He’s the perfect person because somehow the guy who has shopped at L.L. Bean for the past 50 years has actually heard of jeggings and even knows what they are. This guy is clearly up on his vocabulary.
“What should I call this part?” I asked as my dad was changing Chase.
“His junk,” my dad responded.
I should have known a guy that loyal to L.L. Bean couldn’t be trusted with such a delicate matter.
So I asked my babysitter.
She voted for “the jewels.”
Yes, because that would be a normal conversation to have with one’s doctor. “So my 7 month old son has a rash on his jewels and the Desitin isn’t working. Any other suggestions?”
Can’t someone help a mother out?!
By the way – don’t look up “scrotum” on Wikipedia in hopes of finding other synonyms. Because you will be subjected to a very close encounter with the jewels.