Spice Up Your Inbox. Subscribe Today.

enter your email address:


At some point, every baby has a serious poop explosion in public.

The difference between a first baby and let’s say a fifth is the diaper bag.

First baby: You have it.

2nd – 4th baby: You might have it. If you do, it may be out of wipes. You might have forgotten to pack an extra set of clothes. But there is probably something to work with in there even if you have to fashion a fresh diaper from the lining of the diaper bag.

5th baby: The diaper bag is either at home or in the car – very very far from previously mentioned poop explosion.

This week, Rick and I decided to take his iPhone to the Apple store in Ft. Lauderdale. Apparently he got some balsamic vinaigrette in the receiver and now he can’t hear anything which is a sort of a disadvantage when using a phone.

We showed up to the Apple store and they said they could conveniently help us in 5 hours.

But right near by was a Sephora so I thought this was the perfect opportunity to replace an eyeliner I lost on our recent trip to the Northeast. I lost this expensive Lancome eyeliner but somehow came home with my friend’s dish towel. Hardly a fair exchange.

As I was purchasing my new eyeliner, Rick said, “WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY. PLEASE COME HERE IMMEDIATELY.”

I knew it was urgent from his tone so I only took a few extra minutes to mull over how to use my Sephora beauty points.

I left the store and saw Rick with a very distressed look…

Rick with Cash poop situation

Yes, that is poop oozing out of our son’s diaper and the Bjorn and dripping rapidly onto the floor.  Of course, we had no diaper bag because who wants to carry that thing around.

I immediately ran back into Sephora – grabbed tissues and wipes from their makeup counter and cleaned up the mess the best I could.  What would Apple have done for us? Meshed together a wipe with a refurbished iPhone 4 charger? I doubt it.

Then we hightailed it to the parking lot to find our car with the diaper bag resting comfortably inside. We changed Cash on the floor of the minivan for the 188th time in his short life.

baby in minivan

What is my point to this story? If you are too lazy to carry a diaper bag, try to stay close to a Sephora. And don’t trade an eyeliner for a dish towel.

21 Responses to babies are messy

  • Nams says:

    Hats off to you for remembering to take a picture in this Emergency! I wold totally get panicked and drop my phone/ eyeliner somewhere…

  • bitsy says:

    We used to call that type of emergency “Code Brown.” One kid of ours did a code brown across the room onto the wall!!! Good times.

    • Brenda Harshman says:

      bitsy! I am laughing up my cereal this morning reading this! Every one of our children have a story like this….so funny and so fun to remember years later. Kelcey every story makes me laugh!

  • beachgirl says:

    ….and always make sure that your hubbie is holding the baby in the bjorn when the explosion happens and now you!!

  • Joanna says:

    My husband always gives me a hard time because my daughters diaper bag is always missing something- she’s my second, I know full well when there’s an emergency my mama instincts kick in and I can accomplish almost anything with what I have. For example, one evening driving home from the babysitters she decided to vomit and not stop. We stopped in a parking lot and I let her finish her business then got her and car seat completely cleaned up with one wipe (that’s all that was left in the pack). The guys in the auto parts store came out and just stared, then offered me to come in to use the employee bathroom, nope we were fine- no time for that we need to get home.

  • Leigh Ann says:

    I was just having this exact conversation with someone the other day. With the twins, we were always prepared: 87 diapers, wipes, bottles, formula AND my boobs (not in the bag, obvs) because maybe they will have a taste preference today? Toys, clothes, infant tylenol…you name it. When Zoe came along I was lucky if I remembered to toss a diaper in my purse, and I wiped her with tissues more than once.

  • Jen M. says:

    I had this happen with my second child when he was 2! Left the diaper bag at home when we went to the kid’s haircut salon. We were sitting in the waiting area when I began to smell something terrible. The stylist comes over and immediately points out that my son has had a horrific poop accident that overflowed his diaper, jeans, shoes and was currently flooding their CARPET. I had to wrap him in a garbage bag (kid you not!) and go home, after desperately trying to clean up the store. Absolutely mortifying. I don’t think I forgot that diaper bag for at least a week after that…

  • Steph says:

    Stay close to Sephora and don’t trade make-up for a dish towel. Got it! Hilarious advice. p.s. sorry about the explosion but you’re right, it always happens to all babies. p.s.s. omigoodness, Cash is so cute and favors Summer.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

kelcey kintner