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I went for a check up with my baby doctor (not to be confused with my baby daddy) the other day. I have a doctor’s appointment about every 15 minutes due to my “advanced maternal age” which I think is such a fancy way of saying “hot pregnant mama.”

My doctor said to me, “Are you excited?”

I assumed he was talking about the arrival of my baby in just over two weeks and not the news that Martha Stewart is going to try online dating.

I know I should have just given a hearty “Yes!” but instead I said, “By excited, do you mean slightly panicked and nervous?”

He insisted there was nothing to be worried about but since he is a 60 something year old man, I’m thinking he never had a c-section or mastitis or nursed a kid in the middle of the night when all you want to do is sleep.

But despite my fears, I know I will love this little boy.ย  I know I will somehow find time for him and time for all my other kids. I know I will be tired. And happy. And guilty. And my nipples will hurt. I will push myself too much after my c-section. My house will be messy and that will make me crazy. And I will consider trading in my flat screen TV for just one uninterrupted nap.

And I know I will see all my kids together and it will fill my heart in a way I just never thought possible when I was single and independent and very rested.

A baby boy is coming our way that will complete our family. Even though we never quite realized how much we needed him.

So no, I’m not excited exactly. But I know everything is going to be good. Really good.

29 Responses to are you excited?

  • Tiffaney says:

    “And I know I will see all my kids together and it will fill my heart in a way I just never thought possible when I was single and independent and very rested.”

    That was gorgeous. ๐Ÿ™‚ Sending lots of restful vibes to bank away for when you’ll need ’em.

  • Kelsey Kleiman says:

    2 weeks! wow. That is so exciting. I think you guys should really have a family portrait with us in the Fall…October 19th or November 9th. You could rent a 15 passenger van for the day and all head into Manhattan. Seriously, though, let us know. We’d love to give you all the gift of an amazing portrait PLUS we’d finally get to see all of you!

  • Michelle says:

    I can’t tell you how much your honesty means to your fellow Mamas all over the country! Sending lots of love to you and your beautiful family as you welcome a new miracle into the world!!

  • Jackie says:

    Good luck Kelsey. It will be amazing. And let me tell you, your are the 4th woman I know, (3 personally and you via your blog) that is having 5 or more kids in Westchester, NY. 2 families in my school district just had #5. And one just had #6!

    Can’t wait to see a photo of him and hear his name.
    – Jackie (remember me, I spotted you in the apple orchard last Fall!)

  • beachgirl says:

    Lots of Luck Kelsey…you will do fine..main component of a great Mama is to have a sense of humor and you have that down so you are already one rung up the ladder. Cannot wait to see a pic of your new little bundle XO

  • jill sherman says:

    LOVE this Kelcey!!! It warms my heart….good luck!!! Can’t wait to meet the little guy in Margate this summer!! Assuming you will travel with your little army of children…I am sure you will!! You guys are as tough as nails!

  • Steph says:

    Well, if the doctor says you have nothing to worry about, then it must be true! I’m wishing you as much rest as possible and am excited to see your baby number cinco.

  • Ah, this was beautiful. I won’t lie…I’m totally envious…but I’m also feeling for you because I can imagine the myrid of feelings at play in your heart. The business of baby-making is so, so, so strange in that it hardly ever seems we get what we think we want or need…all we can do is trust in what happens to us and our family as being right and perfect.

    Five is fabulous. Truly, truly amazing. Your children will never, ever be lonely. And just think of all the choices you’ll have when you’re too old to live on your own and need a child to move in with!!!

  • Yasmin says:

    My sentiments exactly. I am 5cm into having my baby girl on any given day, at any given moment, and very freaked out. Why? Because I have a 1 yr old boy at home who clings to me like I’m the only person in this world. I hope the family plan I had for back to back pregnancies can come to fruition, and he embraces his baby sister like he does his mama.

  • Absolutely… and I hope you have a nursery chair that is designed in such a way that the baby can’t fall out when you pass out nursing!! They tend to drink, sleep and burp themselves when you pass out from sheer exhaustion, if your chair is designed right…
    I’ll be excited for you, and you can get the naps all stored up

  • Mary Clare says:

    Best wishes for a smooth transition to a bigger family! You’ll forget all your worries when you meet your new little one.

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