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I knew it was April Fools’ Day on Monday which is why I helped Dylan and Summer get dressed quickly so they could sneak back into their beds and pretend to be all sleepy and lazy when their dad came in.

I lured him into their bedroom saying, “Dylan isn’t feeling well. The girls are still in bed. Can you check on them?”

And once he arrived, they jumped out of bed with gusto, fully dressed and laughing.

He later tried to get them back by pretending to go to work in nothing but shorts and socks. But they knew it was his day off and they were too focused on breakfast to even give him a courtesy laugh. I chuckled a little because the effort was totally there.

Not long after, Dylan, Summer and I got stuck in the bathroom. I was getting ready and they were complaining about the dreaded act of going back to school after vacation.  Dylan decided to table her moaning for just a few minutes so she could put on earrings in her bedroom. She attempted to leave the bathroom but when she turned the door handle, it fell off and we couldn’t get out.

Thank goodness for phones! If this was 1973, we’d be stuck in there for 2 days with only water and the floor warmer to keep us alive.

Rick was right downstairs which would have been very convenient if he had answered his cell phone or the home phone or noticed texts like this one…

“We are stuck in bathroom! Not April Fools. Why are you not answering phone?!!!!”

He finally did respond with some kind of ridiculous, “I was reading to the twins” excuse.

With that trauma behind me, I started reading one of my favorite blogs and my friend Wendi Aarons revealed that she had written and self published an erotica book called PTO Passion. She described her literary endeavor…

PTO PASSION is the hot, spicy tale of PTO President Raquella Roberts who falls hard for the mysterious, hunky owner of the dunk tank she rented for the school carnival. I don’t want to give too much of the plot away, but just know that there’s an amazingly torrid scene between Raquella and Wet Tommy that involves yoga pants, clipboards and the back of a dented Honda minivan. (HOT.)”

And I emailed Wendi, “Are we friends? You write an entire book and don’t mention it to me?!” And then I’m scouring the post for the Amazon link but of course there isn’t one because it’s a joke.

I mean, she even wrote “Gotcha” at the bottom of the post but I somehow missed that in my earnest desire to find out what happens between Raquella and Wet Tommy.

And now of course, I’ll never know. The way I see it, Wendi owes me a book.

And she should throw in a new doorknob just to be nice.

mama bird notes:

Have you seen the trailer for Spring Breakers? Spoiler alert… some Disney stars shed their good girl images as fast as their clothes. Read my post on Lifetime Moms.

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kelcey kintner