I woke up on Sunday morning determined to wring the last bit of fall out of the season. We were going to visit an orchard.
So we pile into the car and head to Outhouse Orchards. And yes, that’s the real name. I guess “Delicious Apple Orchards” was taken and “Outhouse Orchards” was the obvious next choice.
We buy our $20 bag and set off to pick apples.
Except the trees are pretty bare. And short on apples. And the apples are sort of the key part of this expedition. We finally spot some at the very tippy top of the trees. Which means Rick has to start climbing.
We finally fill up our bag and head toward the hayride when we see this sign…
And then this one…
Hey Rick, do you feel itchy yet?
No matter – it’s hayride time!! Now Summer and I are not going on the hayride (she’s hayride averse and I’m allergic) but I send my husband, my 5 year-old and my dad on this ride.
And a mere 15 minutes later when they return, THEY HAVE LOST THE APPLES.
Me: Where are the apples?
My husband: I don’t know.
Me: But you had them on the hayride.
My husband: I know. It’s weird.
Me: How does one lose a huge bag of apples on a hayride?
My husband: It was really bumpy.
Me: It was so bumpy that you didn’t notice an entire bag of apples falling out?! How is that possible?
My husband: It was really really bumpy.
My dad decides he’s going to hunt down the MIA bag of apples and sets off on foot through the muddy orchard. And he does come back with the bag.
With one lonely apple still inside.
We tell our sob story to the orchard staff and they give us our $20 back. They even keep apologizing. I guess they feel bad that we’re not very smart.
I am so happy for the refund that I promise to name our first pet Outhouse. We take our money and buy some apples in their store.
Which is probably what we should have done in the first place.
31 Responses to apple picking is not for wimps
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kelcey kintner
And this is why my favorite family outings happen at Nordstrom.
My favorite family outing with with my mom at Saks. No one ever took me apple picking! Or for pumpkins either. I was lucky I got a plastic pumpkin for Halloween to carry my candy in…omg so deprived in Fairfield County. 🙂
One more thing, poison ivy + Phillies losing is really gonna SUCK for Rick!
You are a city girl remember that! I applaud you for your total “burb” attempt! Sorry I hope Rick isn’t itching yet plus it’s contagious I think ???
nature, it’s all over me! get it off!!! funny
One of the things i miss most about up North is the apple picking – only u could do it with such hilarity. But I would trade you your trip, perhaps even with the poison ivy, just to get out of this heat for a little while.
I wanna hear the stories about baking the apple pies….from scratch. Happy Fall!
did rick get poison ivy, that’s what i’m wondering…and what about the donuts?
Happily I did not get poison ivy, and as for the donuts – they were yummy. Thanks for asking. And oh yeah, Go Phils!
These outings are never what they are cracked up to be. I’m still emotionally scarred by a certain strawberry-picking adventure we had in 1997.
LOL! “Come here Outhouse! Good boy!”
Only to you guys would this happen. Did Rick ever explain how the apples “got lost”?
Does that mean I’m on my own as I pursue cowboys?
i read this on a conference call and almost ruined the call by cracking up!!!!
Oh my?!?!?!! $20 for apples? Eeeeek! Madaline & I picked 60lb two weeekends ago and paid 25 cents a pound. Woozers!
Your gonna get some funny looks with a pet called Outhouse, but I’m sure you can shorten it to Oh!
We went to Outhouse a few weeks ago – it was so crowded we couldn’t even get the donuts- its was an hour wait on line! The traffic getting into the place was backed up over a mile….guess that’s why there are not many apples left! Hope your girls got to ride the pony 🙂
It sounds like you have some funny memories. Oh goodness… glad to hear that Rick did not get poison ivy.
I am still laughing.
Be thankful Rick only lost the apples, not Dylan. Do you think he would have noticed if she fell off the hayride?
Love the new Mama Bird look and sounds like you all had a great day. That’s what memories are made of.
Its like when Lucy went fishing and brought fish from the store to impress Ricky. Okay so its not exactly like that.
Okay fine. its not like that at all.
But what the hell.
YOU TRIED.
“I guess they feel bad that we’re not very smart.” Funny!
In Texas you don’t pick apples in fall and orchards aren’t a plenty. And in Texas you don’t take hay rides, you go ‘mudding’. I am extremely grateful for orchards and hayrides here in NJ, but if I had to get muddy while hay riding…notsomuch.
We went on a pilgrimage there as well. A duck ate my son’s donut and all he really wanted was the rocks. I’m allergic to hay too. We really must meet one of these days! I think we’re leading parallel lives.
There is a place called Delicious Orchards in Colts Neck NJ – great store, great produce and I’m pretty sure they have pick your own fruit. Only a guy could have lost an entire bag of apples and not even realize it!
those hayrides can be pretty bumpy. At least you found the bag. 🙂
That was a most entertaining story and hilarious to boot! Have never been to an apple orchard, but your story inspired me – for next year! Sounds like a perfect family story to pass on and on and laugh about at get-to-gethers for years to come!
Wow…apple picking is not for the weak:O I can’t believe they gave you your $20 back…no way that would happen here:(
Just checkin’ in on Rick- any poison ivy yet? I had a 4 week (yes!) stint with it this fall & it was HORRIBLE. No laughing matter I tell you. (although I’m pretty sure you can make anything funny!) I guess that’s what you get if you break rules 🙂
You tried – it is the thought that counts. I am glad that you got the refund and that Rick did not get poison ivy!
for the entire 11 years I lived in NYC I was dying to go apple picking. Glad I never bothered.
next time, go to Barton or Terhune Orchards. you’ll have a much better experience for the kids though i must say that outhouse makes the most delicious donuts!