Last week, I had my most successful moment as a parent. I was dropping Dylan off at school and as I handed her her backpack, I immediately knew something was amiss.
I could tell the weight of the backpack was about 11 ounces off. I looked inside and quickly realized that she didn’t have her water bottle. I handed over mine (because I’m extremely selfless and now of course, dehydrated) and sent her off to school.
Wow. Did anyone see that?! I just kicked some mom ass. And as a bonus, I’m now making some extra income guessing weights at local carnivals.
So you would think that she would immediately repay the favor by sculpting a ceramic World’s Most Awesome and Beautiful Mom trophy or leaning over to me after her dinner with a quick, “Mom, I’ve got the dishes tonight and I’ll put the twins to bed. You relax. I just poured you a frosty glass of Chardonnay.”
Can a wine glass be frosty? I’m not sure. But not the point here.
The point is there was no trophy. Or grand gestures. In fact, she and my other kiddos let me hang out for about two hours on Sunday morning (which included a walk to the coffee shop) looking like this…
What is up with the leftover eye makeup from the night before? And NONE of my kids mentioned this?!
I’m going to give the twins, who are only 19-months-old, a pass since they only know a few words and they definitely don’t know how to say, “There’s some weird crap under your eye.” Although I’m being very nice because Harlowe can say, “mama” and “look” which really would have been sufficient.
But Dylan and Summer? Come on. There is really no excuse.
Then I took a nap later in the morning and woke up with some fabulous cheek creases….
Which lasted about three hours.
P.S. If you’ve enjoyed these glamour shots, stay tuned til next week when I post pictures of myself wearing a night guard in high school!
mama bird notes:
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Check me out at The Mouthy Housewives today where I’m giving advice to a woman who is expecting her first child and admits she might be a little crazy. Find out why.