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The other day I was at the grocery store because my kids are still into this “eating” hobby.

As I turn into the frozen food aisle, a man approaches and I practically jump out of my skin because you know how evil people always lurk by the frozen pancakes.

“Do you know where I find the Goya Sofrito?” he asks.

I’ve got to stop wearing a Stop & Shop name tag as a brooch.

“Umm… I have no idea. I’m sorry I can’t help you,” I reply.

“I’ve been married for 50 years. My wife will kill me if I tell her I couldn’t find it. She cooks with it all the time,” he replies.

“I really wish I could help you but I have no idea what Goya Sofrito is and it took me 15 minutes to find lemon juice in this mammoth store so I might not be your best hope.”

The poor chap goes on his way and I finish my shopping. And just as the cashier is ringing up my last item, I realize my purse is not in the cart.

Where is it?!

The man in the frozen food aisle! He distracted me and then his accomplice grabbed the purse.  But now that I think about it, he seemed more confused than crafty and I don’t remember any accomplice or actually bringing my purse into the store.

I explain my predicament to the cashier, apologize to the woman waiting behind me in line and then hoof it to the car as much as I can hoof anywhere 35 weeks pregnant. I open my minivan and I immediately find…. no purse.

This is a problem.

I run back inside the store and explain this awkward “no money” thing, assuming that they will let me pay them in compliments because there is no way I’m abandoning all these groceries and coming back to start over.

But the employees seem to have their hearts set on actual money and simply put my groceries aside until I can come up with cash.

I call my husband and thankfully confirm that my purse is sitting on the kitchen table. I tell him that he needs to come to the grocery store as soon as possible.

He swings by with a credit card, I pay for my food and then I immediately turn around and see a friend from school.

“Man, I needed you 20 minutes ago! I would have forced you to pay for all my groceries,” I explain.

She is obviously depressed to have missed out on this unique opportunity but I head home before she can really communicate her upset.

Now I hate to think that this all occurred because I have that so-called pregnancy brain because it sort of irks me that pregnant women are always painted as so dimwitted.

My point is, this is not about me being pregnant because I’ve done plenty of dumb things when I wasn’t knocked up.

So there.

mama bird notes:

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13 Responses to and back at the grocery store…

  • Leigh Ann says:

    During my first pregnancy we searched our entire house for a block of cheese, knowing I had just used it earlier in the day. I woke up at 3am and thought: I threw that damn block of cheese in the trash.

    i don’t remember much about my 2nd pregnancy. I think I blocked it out entirely.

  • annie says:

    I blame Stop & Shop! When I was 30+ (or maybe 50+) weeks pregnant I locked my keys in the car in their parking lot. Luckily the lock smith had a wife at home in the roughly the same stage of misery so he didn’t charge me to get them out. The moral – stay away from grocery shopping while pregnant. Especially at S&S.

  • daphne says:

    I’m only sharing this to make you feel better…but I did the exact same thing at Target last week — only my yells over the answering machine went unanswered, so I had to leave it all at the cashier, come home, give everyone here the stink eye, and then go back with the money.
    And I’m not pregnant. Just clueless

  • Meg D says:

    SO glad your purse was at home. Meanwhile, I’m seeing a list of Goya products in an Amazon ad on the left rail of your blog. That might explain my craving for Spanish rice!

  • Princess Judy says:

    My mom buys groceries at the air force base. There they bag up your groceries and take them outside while you drive your car up and they load them into your car for you. My mom has been known to go to her car and drive home, open the trunk and NO GROCERIES. She’s done it more than once. The store just wheels the carts into a walk in freezer and waits for you to come back.

    I came to my first day of work at a new job with no purse. That was mildly awkward.

  • anymommy says:

    Critically pregnant with my second, I shopped in a World Market for an hour and then FREAKED out because I didn’t have my keys. I was positive I had put them down somewhere in the store while browsing. With many, many people engaged in helping me find them, I waddled out to the car to find it …. running. With the keys in the ignition. For the love. (Fortunately, child #1 was with me.)

  • Rhonda says:

    I just got married. I went to the social security office today to have my name changed. I waited 30 minutes (which is amazingly quick!), and when I got to the window, I realized I left the damn marriage certificate on the kitchen table. …I don’t think I’m pregnant…

  • Lanie says:

    A few weeks after having Sawyer I was sooo proud of myself for grocery shopping with the twins (sawyer was home with Evan). I got home, took the twins out of the car and realized I had left the groceries and my wallet in the cart at the curb. Luckily, Evan called Trader Joes and they got my groceries and wallet and kept them for me till I got back. Good thing Evan’s brain was still working. xoxo

  • Susan says:

    When I was 8 months pregnant I packed my two kids into their car seats and drove home… with the cart full of bagged groceries sitting in the parking lot. I didn’t realize until I was home.

  • Susan says:

    And then there was the time I actually forgot my one year old in my four year old’s classroom. I didn’t realize until I was back at my car. I was not pregnant that time.

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kelcey kintner