Things NOT to say to a pregnant woman carrying twins:

You look gigantic. Are you due this month? (Now the mom-to-be fears she is carrying amazon children.)

You look tiny. You’re a peanut. (Now the pregger mom fears she is carrying midgets.)

Your belly looks pointy, like a dart. (The mom doesn’t know what to think. Now she’s anxious that she doesn’t even know what to worry about.)

Are you getting full-time help? You’re going to need full-time help. (Not unless you’re paying.)

Did you get all the equipment you need? (Umm… no.  Actually, we are in desperate need of a house. We are trying to buy a house first. Wait, what equipment?)

Are you getting a new car? (We might stick with our Toyota Highlander Hybrid for now. Rick is threatening that we need a minivan.  Please don’t side track us. First we need a house.)

Do you need a broker? I have a great broker. (I’ve got plenty of brokers. I’m actually having a shortage of houses.)

Do you know how to take care of twins? (Is that a prerequisite because I think I missed the course.)

You’re going to be tired. (I think I’m tired right now.)

Four is A LOT of kid (I’ve always wanted four. We couldn’t feel more grateful.)

Did Rick want four? (I think he might have held at two. But I keep telling him that the “f” in four stands for FUN. Please don’t tell him any differently.)

Things you SHOULD say to a pregnant woman carrying twins.

You’re glowing.  (It’s bronzer.)

You’re not carrying your pregnancy in your booty.  (At least not yet.)

Your face looks normal. It’s not bloated.  (Does it look young and fresh and 20 something?)

You look beautiful.  (This compliment works for all women – pregnant or not.)

You already have two kids. You’ll know how to take care of two more. It will be easy peasy.  (You’re probably lying but I don’t care. I love you anyway.)

You look like a pregnant Heidi Klum.  (Ok, now I know you’re lying.)

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