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On Thursday morning, there were 3 things not sitting well with me.

1. On 90210, Liam (hot high school guy) blew off Annie (pretty high school girl) because he didn’t want to jeopardize his blossoming relationship with his once estranged brother.

You don’t have to be as old as I am to realize this makes absolutely no sense. Hot high school guy blows off pretty high school girl for brother?! Where does that happen? In Beverly Hills apparently. Probably on Rodeo Drive.

2. Every time I leave 8-month-old Chase for two milliseconds, I come back to find him chewing on wires and trying to insert his body into electrical sockets. Which leaves me desperately trying to find the number of the baby proofer that we had come by the house a few weeks ago. The same guy who peppered Rick with questions because this guy doesn’t want to be a baby proofer anymore. He actually wants to be a TV reporter! Which is great except I don’t need someone to anchor the news from my house. I need someone to install cabinet locks.

And then when this baby proofer was done with his career counseling session, he told me to count all my electrical sockets. Can’t he maybe handle this because if I had time to count all my electrical sockets, I’d probably have time to find his god damn number. Wait, I can count one. Yes, there is one right here that my 8-month-old son is right now trying to put his hand through. So that’s one socket.ย  You count the rest, baby-proofer-future-Matt-Lauer.

3. All the mother effin snow. You know what I think when I look out the window and see 15 more inches of snow on top of the foot of snow? I think, do I live in Colorado? No, I do not. Do I live in Idaho? No, I do not. Do I live in Montana? No, I do not. So stop with the stupid snow.

Because I already feel overwhelmed and trapped with four kids on a typical winter day but all this crazy weather makes me feel even more overwhelmed and trapped.

I know I just spent 10 days in Florida. I know I’m not deserving of a mental breakdown.ย  But somehow my mind forgot all about Boca and I’m hyperventilating.ย  After a shower, a latte and a lunch with some girlfriends and all our children (including my dad wearing Harlowe in the Bjorn), I felt less like my head was going to explode.

But I’m still not me. Definitely not that fun girl in Boca whose boobs kept popping out. But I’m desperately trying to re-harness her gleeful, warm weathered spirit.

On the upside…

At least I’m still capable of dissecting the complicated plot twists of 90210. The snow will eventually go away and leave us all alone. And most importantly, my sister is having a baby. Today. Or maybe tomorrow at the latest. He’s coming. Or she’s coming.

It’s so amazingly awesome.

26 Responses to am i having a nervous breakdown? i’m not sure.

  • jean says:

    Kelcey~You are not alone! I know the feeling of coming back to the north after a nice, tropical break and it almost makes it worse! Just think, the days ARE getting longer.

  • Tiffaney says:

    Just think, you could be the one giving birth in the blizzard. Yowza. Don’t you feel better now? Or did it just make you want to throw a hammer at me?

  • Marinka says:

    Are you sure that you didn’t miss a few episodes of Beverly Hills? Maybe the hot dumped girl and the brother used to date? Or she’s his mother or something?

  • Peta says:

    If you have to think about, you’re probably NOT having a nervous breakdown, but I can feel your pain. Here is Chicago, I often don’t see my lawn form three months. The image of your dad wearing a baby did give me pretty good laugh though. Hang in there…just a few more weeks to go.

  • Daphne says:

    Careful before you go slamming the west dearie…weather here in Colorado today: 60 degrees and sunny! I might just take my girls for an ice cream after school.

  • I’m also having a nervous breakdown, which is not right because I only have two children and they are in school. But then again, I didn’t go to Boca either. Oh, why are we splitting hairs, let’s get together and lock all the children in a room with no sockets and you and I go and eat fatty sugary treats.

  • Chris says:

    Put on your bathing suit in your house, let your boob pop out, and maybe you’ll get back in the Boca Mood. Sorry you’re having an almost breakdown, but glad your sister’s about to have a baby. Boo. Yay! You’re totally fiiine. : )

  • Melissa says:

    The goddamn snow. I hear you. Though what pisses me off even more is the plethora of SNOW DAYS my son’s school (preK) is constantly announcing. The greatest danger and inconvenience the snow poses is to us mamas’ mental health – especially when we have both kids home all day!

  • Becky says:

    I AGREE 100% about Liam! How does an 18 year old boy (ok he is really like 25) turn down a hot 18 year old girl! That just does not happen! And Ivy is starting to get on my nerves. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Whenever we’re on vacation, I turn to Husband at least once and say “SEE! I AM TOO FUN!” b/c when we get home to all the … crap… that fun girl vanishes, swallowed by unwashed laundry. I always figure that if I think I AM having a nervous breakdown, I’m probably not. It’s always the folks who insist that they’re really, really sane who are in fact the nutters, right? Plus–in the misery loves company category–your sister is about to have a baby. Which is grand b/c babies are grand but also b/c then she’ll also be kind of a wreck. You two can bitch about life to one another without feeling guilty for bringing the other one down.

  • Leigh Ann says:

    I don’t know about you, but I don’t know many news anchors who can look back at their agonizing days as a baby proofer. Ok I don’t even watch the news. But if I did, I’m sure all of those anchors have been dreaming about reading from a TelePrompTer since they were 5 (And who knew that TelePrompTer had all those random capital letters? My spell check, that’s who).

  • Mel says:

    Hang in there, girl! Cabin fever is getting us all down but, yes, we will see Spring again. Then the babies can crawl around eating dirt and sand which is way less stressful than the whole electricity issue!

  • johanna says:

    With 4 kids and this type of winter, you have every right to deserve a mental breakdown. I only have 2 and this winter is literally eating me alive I think. Chase must meet my 17 month old. He is the king of finding an unprotected socket or something dangerous to play with, chew on, or pull. Im learning that raising boys is WAY different than raising girls! And lastly, I say we all move to Boca ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Gretchen says:

    If it makes you feel better, I actually live in Idaho. I like to refer to it as the Tundra, sounds like a happy place, huh? On a brighter note I love your posts, you are such a clever writer, they somehow make me feel sane! While I am posting my first ever comment, I must say if 90210 has got you down, dig deeper….Gossip Girl!

  • erinb says:

    f-ing snow. seriously i am at the end of my rope…with just 2 kids but a newborn to boot. and i am so glad I gave up 90210- i couldnt deal with more crappy plotines…brother over girl? yeah ok. when the f is GLEE coming back on? I need some musical inspiration to continue on….

  • Merrily says:

    You know? Snow stinks. Sure it’s pretty the first 3 days or so…
    The Deep South literally shut down for a week and then just when you thought you could go back into the water… the Monday after was a holiday. I thought there would be a homicidal maniac in my home called Merrily…

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kelcey kintner