On Thursday morning, there were 3 things not sitting well with me.
1. On 90210, Liam (hot high school guy) blew off Annie (pretty high school girl) because he didn’t want to jeopardize his blossoming relationship with his once estranged brother.
You don’t have to be as old as I am to realize this makes absolutely no sense. Hot high school guy blows off pretty high school girl for brother?! Where does that happen? In Beverly Hills apparently. Probably on Rodeo Drive.
2. Every time I leave 8-month-old Chase for two milliseconds, I come back to find him chewing on wires and trying to insert his body into electrical sockets. Which leaves me desperately trying to find the number of the baby proofer that we had come by the house a few weeks ago. The same guy who peppered Rick with questions because this guy doesn’t want to be a baby proofer anymore. He actually wants to be a TV reporter! Which is great except I don’t need someone to anchor the news from my house. I need someone to install cabinet locks.
And then when this baby proofer was done with his career counseling session, he told me to count all my electrical sockets. Can’t he maybe handle this because if I had time to count all my electrical sockets, I’d probably have time to find his god damn number. Wait, I can count one. Yes, there is one right here that my 8-month-old son is right now trying to put his hand through. So that’s one socket. You count the rest, baby-proofer-future-Matt-Lauer.
3. All the mother effin snow. You know what I think when I look out the window and see 15 more inches of snow on top of the foot of snow? I think, do I live in Colorado? No, I do not. Do I live in Idaho? No, I do not. Do I live in Montana? No, I do not. So stop with the stupid snow.
Because I already feel overwhelmed and trapped with four kids on a typical winter day but all this crazy weather makes me feel even more overwhelmed and trapped.
I know I just spent 10 days in Florida. I know I’m not deserving of a mental breakdown. But somehow my mind forgot all about Boca and I’m hyperventilating. After a shower, a latte and a lunch with some girlfriends and all our children (including my dad wearing Harlowe in the Bjorn), I felt less like my head was going to explode.
But I’m still not me. Definitely not that fun girl in Boca whose boobs kept popping out. But I’m desperately trying to re-harness her gleeful, warm weathered spirit.
On the upside…
At least I’m still capable of dissecting the complicated plot twists of 90210. The snow will eventually go away and leave us all alone. And most importantly, my sister is having a baby. Today. Or maybe tomorrow at the latest. He’s coming. Or she’s coming.
It’s so amazingly awesome.