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Rick and I have rented yet another storage unit in Manhattan.

As you may remember, in addition to the apartment where we actually live, we already have one place for our junk way uptown.  Now we have another one on 23rd Street.  The two of us are becoming quite the real estate moguls.

So today Rick went up to our new unit in Chelsea and filled out the required paperwork.

“You have to agree to the Good Neighbor Policy,” said the Manhattan Mini Storage employee.

Rick nodded.

“It means you agree to not store anything illegal.  No drugs. No firearms. No dead bodies.”

Rick laughed.  “You have my word,” he promised.

“Ok. That’s good. But we’re also going to need a signature.”

No dead bodies?! Well, NOW what are we going to do with them all? Shove them all under the bed?

And let’s just say you are the type of person who would actually murder someone. It seems like you might not stress too much about Manhattan Mini Storage’s “Good Neighbor Policy.”

We rented the storage unit because we want to de-clutter our apartment a bit in case we decide to sell.

Of course, as we try to move out some of our belongings and a lot of toys, 4 year-old Dylan has a growing list of things she wants for Hanukkah and Christmas.

Like this big hobby horse from the local drugstore that looks like it would provide about 4 whole minutes of entertainment before being shoved in a closet. Actually, 4 minutes might be optimistic.

I asked my mother today if there was anything she wants for Christmas.

She asked me for a cassette player.

I gave her a CD player a few years back but apparently she is looking for something a bit more outdated.

She explained that she has two Buddhist cassettes that she can only play in the car and she wants to be able to play them at home.

I explained to my mother that there was just NO WAY that anyone sells cassette players anymore.  They are hanging out in the Sam Goody graveyard, chatting it up about the glory days of the 80’s when everyone was making a mix tape for their boyfriend or girlfriend.

And as it turns out, I was completely wrong. They do still sell them. See what I mean?

So I guess if I can’t find her tapes in that fancy new CD form, I’ll just buy her the cassette player.

I just want my mom to be happy.

And plus she would just look so ultra cool with her own boom box, blasting her enlightening meditation tapes down the streets of Durham, North Carolina.

The above photo is actually not my mother. Any resemblance is completely coincidental and not intended.

38 Responses to all i want for christmas is a storage unit

  • Pearl says:

    I am SOOOO jealous of your storage spaces! I want one so badly, but my husband refuses. He says if we need to pay for storage, that means we have too much stuff. I am all for getting rid of stuff, but it needs to be HIS stuff!

    And Baby is slowly taking over every last bit of storage space we do have. Maybe my husband will, GASP, finally get rid of the 1972 Mercedes that has been sitting (with the seats ripped out) in our garage for three years that he is “going to restore someday”?

  • kristen says:

    hahaha, the boom box and your mom!

    we had to stage/store SO much in the basement and friends’ apartments when we sold our place in brooklyn.

    when you move here (ha!), you will have an attic AND a basement AND a garage! and then when you need to get rid of things, you can have a tag sale.

    good times, good times.

  • Terra says:

    We have ahouse in the burbs and could use a storage place or two – I swear no matter where you live, how big your house you manage to fill it to the brim and wish you hadn’t! eBay can be a great way to get rid of stuff! And to find stuff like outdated cassette players and possibly buddist tapes on CD!

    GOod luck! and thanks for the giggle!

  • Jacquie says:

    We had a storage space for 7 years! When we finally left the city we paid a lot of money to move all of it. A few months later, we sold it for almost nothing at a garage sale!

  • Awww mom!

    and yes, STAY AWAY from the rocking horse or hobby horse or any sort of horse. They have cluttered my apartment for TOO long. And my kid is 8. Hey, what a great present for Dylan. I’ll ship them today!

  • Kim says:

    Wait.. have you seen the ride on dinosaur? Yeah.. my son touched it said he wanted it..I then told him he was crazy and moved on.. He would have played on it for about three seconds..

  • Nap Warden says:

    See, I went the other way. Started with a big house, downsized to an apartment (got rid of everything) then moved into a big townhome. We have no stuff, and I’m trying too keep it that way:)

  • MN Mama says:

    Only in NY would you have to sign your name and promise not to store a dead body in storage! It is too much. Oh goodness. Todd and I swear that renting a storage unit sold our last house. Our house looked huge without all of our stuff in it. The great thing is we have given most of our baby stuff away to friends who have needed it. We have definitely not filled this house with stuff we do not need to hold on to. Yippee!

  • Jennifer H says:

    I could use a cassette player just to listen to an old Survivor tape I found a while back. Oh, the ballads!

    And a storage facility for my kids toys wouldn’t hurt either. I could take them there once a month to play with their toys.

  • misty says:

    i just wonder how many bodies were found in rented storage units, causing such a policy to be established???

    truly, the still sell cassette players that aren’t attached to cd players? Well then, lead me to the 8 track players because I see them, used, for sale all of the time… (the 8 tracks, that is)

  • Rhea says:

    the good neighbor policy is ridiculous. LIke you said, if someone is going to buy something illegal or murder someone, they are NOT going to care about a stupid paper they signed. lol Sheesh.

    My mother-in-law lives in a three story HUGE house and has about five storage units. I’ve never seen someone with so much stuff.

  • Dixie Chick says:

    I’m laughing and can’t type. “a bit more outdated” My mother and I had a similar conversation about VHS vs DVD players a year or two ago. It didn’t go well.

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Glad to read you’re moving out of Manhattan. No one in their right mind would rent a storage unit to pay to store ‘stuff’ they don’t need or use. You can keep it stored in the store where it came from for FREE…and ‘visit’ it when you feel the need to look at your furniture/books/toys.

  • MN Mama says:

    one more thing…. we still have a boom box because the library only has “If You Give a Moose a Muffin,” “If You Give oa Pig a Pancake,” and “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” on tape not on CD. They are fantastic and all read by fantastic actors. The Moose is actually read by Robbie Benson. It is funny to hear Isabelle say his name. Todd just laughs. The Pig is read by David Hyde Pierce. Probably more than you wanted to know but I still have my tapes too (Thriller and all that). I tried to get rid of them but just couldn’t.

  • My kids got the drugstore pony last year, and I’ve got to say it’s held up pretty well…there’s been plenty of near-death experiences, but none have yet resulted in an ER visit. So…

    Maybe don’t get it.

  • Melisa says:

    Hmmm…if you have to have two storage spaces I’d say you really are ready for the burbs! 😉

    Ah yes the cassette player, it use to be my BFF back in the day. Like way back!

  • OHmommy says:

    Did they really ask him all of those questions?

    Gosh, I wonder what they would ask in Ohio. I should go undercover and find out.

    It would be exciting, no?

  • lilith says:

    I’m with Marinka, Manhattan’s Mini Storage rules are really discriminating ;-). Maybe the criminals can sue and they’ll get the dead body storage for free, lol.
    But Kelcey, if you’re already decluttering your house “in case” you will sell, it means it’s pretty serious, you are indeed moving to the suburbs :-(.

  • Jessica Bern says:

    Storage space? If my kid hasn’t worn it or played with it, out it goes. I’m the anti pack rat. Just another thing she can talk over with her therapist which she’ll certainly need with a mom like me.

  • Oz says:

    I think you should get her one of the mini cassette players. I remember having a little pink one that I thought was the cat’s meow. Of course, I also wore jelly shoes and big foam earrings shaped like parrots, so my taste may have been a bit off.

  • PAPA says:

    OMG, the part about your mom apparently wanting something more outdated…awesome.
    Just read that to a co-worker and she laughed like a crazy woman.
    Funny, very funny

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kelcey kintner