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My husband gets home from work after midnight. And when he does, I like to welcome him by saying things like this…

“There is a lizard under the couch. I can’t get it out. Please catch it. I’m going to bed.”

“I can try,” he says with as much enthusiasm as if he was being audited.

“What do you mean try? You need to catch it.”

“I’ll give it my best but they are really fast.”

“Why the defeatist attitude? You need to go in with some optimism. Some positive energy! The lizard can sense your negative vibe. Do you think an Olympian says, ‘I’ll TRY to land the triple Salchow?!’ No, they say, ‘I’ll do it!!’ That’s what being a champion is all about.”

I start to wonder if I should be an inspirational speaker and/or a life coach because I’m really good at this.

“So can you catch the lizard please?” I ask.

“I’ll try,” responded Rick with as much enthusiasm as if he was being audited for the second time.

Well, turns out he did catch that lizard and obviously he credited my inspiring pep talk. I mean, not out loud. But in his head, I’m positively sure.

So then last night Rick came home from work and I said…

“There is a camp shirt stuck on the chandelier. I can’t get it. Please get it down. Summer needs to wear it in the morning. I’m going to bed.”

shirt stuck on light

He said something about needing a ladder but I just heard, “All over it honey! Get some beauty sleep because I have this covered.”

In the morning, I expected to see that camp shirt folded and ready to go but it was exactly where my daughter had inadvertently thrown it – on the chandelier.

Damn. Delegating did not work. I went into phase two of problem solving. Ignore the situation.

And hallelujah, it worked! Dylan and Summer configured some sort of apparatus with a mop, a pirate sword and duct tape and managed to get it down.

That is seriously what they used.

I was only sad my dad wasn’t there at the time because he is a man who loves to problem solve a situation. The longer it takes the better!

I’ve never seen him happier than when he got a ladder stuck high up in his tree on Cape Cod.

Yeah, I can’t really remember the details of how that exactly happened.

But hey, a ladder! That’s something I could probably use around here.

8 Responses to after midnight

  • Honest Mum says:

    Haha! You are too funny, loved getting a peek into your house and wow a lizard-amazing, we have to pay to look at lizards in the UK so be grateful. I think.

  • kath says:

    Kudos to Summer and Dylan! And to you for just standing back 🙂
    I love reading your posts every day… Best blog! My kids are grown, I have no grandkids.. your stories make me smile. Thanks.. smiling is good.

  • bitsy says:

    I really love the picture of the camp shirt up on the chandelier. And you bring back some SOFLA memories for me with the lizard. I can remember finding them in weird places in the house so long dead that they were petrified. Ew.

  • Kristin says:

    You can’t leave us hanging! How did your dad get a ladder stuck in a tree??? And a follow up – how did he get it down?

  • OMG. You are EVIL!!!!!! My stay-at-home dad husband does this to me, usually when I’m arriving home from a week of business travel, often because something is stuck on the roof and I’m the only one crazy enough to crawl out of the bathroom window to retrieve said frisbee or ball or stick or what the hell ever the kids have tried to toss over the house!

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kelcey kintner