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I recently stole an idea from Marinka called, “I’m Right! You’re Wrong!”  I am planning to steal it again today but pretend it was my idea all along and that I never heard of this so-called Marinka girl.

Not so long ago, you all helped me figure out if it’s okay for a babysitter to text during an interview. Today, we discuss the highly emotional issue of wedding accommodations.

Rick and I have a wedding this weekend in the Berkshires. I love weddings because it’s so beautiful when one can enjoy an evening of cocktails, food and dancing on someone else’s dime. Oh I’m sorry. I mean, it’s so beautiful when one gets to bear witness to a couple’s promise to love each other for eternity.

Rick and I were trying to bring the kids, mostly because no one had volunteered to take care of all four while we were gone. And my dad was willing to come with us and watch them during the wedding.

But the hotel does not have adjoining rooms so our only option was to book two rooms next to each other.  That would mean the twins would be asleep in one room while my dad and bigger girls would be in the room next door.

Disagreement: Is it safe for 16-month-old twins to have their own hotel room while we are at a wedding?

Disagreers: Kelcey and her husband Rick

Position One: Hell no. Even though the twins’ granddad will certainly be checking in on them frequently, they are in a separate room that anyone who works at the hotel could gain access to. I wouldn’t be able to enjoy two seconds of that wedding. I’d be back at the hotel before the pigs in a blanket were served.

Position Two: It’s perfectly safe and no different than having your children upstairs in a house. A monitor can be set up. The granddad will be right next door, listening to any noises from the room and checking in all the time. And when the wedding is over, one of us will be in there with the twins.

So what do you think?

mama bird notes:

On another note, I was recently contacted by Coca Cola because they have a new whimsical video about the secrets of happiness.  It’s a dancing, singing, glass is half full, animated fiesta!

Coke has always been in the business of promoting soda and happiness. And I do remember being in high school and nothing could make me happier than a diet coke. Well, I also wanted Tom Cruise to fall in love with me but I was a realist.

Since my love of Coke goes way back and because they offered to pay me (this is a sponsored post)… I want to share this video with you. During this time of economic woes, terrorist alerts and political gridlock, perhaps it will bring you a few minutes of delight. Enjoy.

63 Responses to a wedding dilemma

  • Jessica says:

    I think if there’s a monitor set up, it would be pretty much impossible for hotel employees to enter the room without granddad hearing. It IS a little different than having your kids upstairs in a house, but it’s ok.

  • Jenny says:

    We left our son in one room with the monitor on while we went next door. It worked perfectly. If you have a video monitor it was even better because then I could obsessively look at him whenever I got worried. I get why it would be nerve wracking though!

  • Marinka says:

    Is this a joke?

    OMG, no way is it ok to leave twins alone in a hotel room, regardless of whether grandpa has a baby monitor and a glass to the wall.

    It wouldn’t even be ok with triplets.

  • Jen says:

    I’m sorry to say, Position 1. The name Madeline Mccann keeps popping in my head. I’m sorry to be such a downer, but it’s not worth the risk. How about hiring a sitter to sit in the room for a few hours after your dad puts them to bed?

  • Jenny says:

    Yeah, it’d probably be okay but no way I’d be able to enjoy the evening! So I’m taking position 1. And thx for the Coke video – I love the occasional coke almost as much as the kiddies!

  • Kerri says:

    Position One here too. Is bringing a cot in an option or portable play-pens. Then the twins could be in the room with grandpa & the older girls or visa versa. Who ever moves more easily when asleep & falls back asleep more easily would be chosen to be the ones moved when you got back from the wedding. I guess I am just a wee bit paranoid. What if something did happen & the door got jammed or grandpa dozed off & didn’t hear someone in the room (you can bolt the door once you are in, but there is no secondary lock from the outside of the room)? Some hotels offer sitting services or info of sitting services in which the sitters have a police check done, etc. When you get to the hotel, you can see if any of the adjoining rooms have come up available. We have not been able to get adjoining rooms before & they have had ones available when we got there or we had one adult & one or more older teen(s) in each room. Easier now that I have adult kids & younger ones!

  • Penny says:

    Hell no. I would be a nervous wreck. If the concern is that the twins can’t sleep if they are in the same room with everyone else, it’s not the end of the world if everyone’s sleep is thrown off for a night. Put on cartoons, call it a party, and let them all fall asleep in the same room. (Then when you return, move whomever is easiest to move, as Kerri suggested above.) The bottom line is sure, the odds are that it would be fine and nothing bad would happen, but if it did you would never forgive yourself. Go with your mama instinct.

    • Jeanine says:

      Best idea yet. Never leave any children alone in a room. If you can’t find adjoining rooms at another hotel, this is the way to go. The kids will love it and will recover more quickly than mom and dad after a few drinks. 🙂

  • Jenn says:

    And Grandad couldn’t sit with the twins and put a monitor in the room with the older girls while they watch a movie? Or put all four of them in the same room – my Bunny sleeps through anything. I’d be too terrified of people nicking my kids, monitor or not, it happens so quickly.

  • Susan says:

    I figured out a long time ago that if I am taking a poll… generally it means that I know what I really want and am just looking for some validation. It appears that you aren’t really comfortable so maybe there is a postition 3 – that you look for another nearby hotel with adjoining rooms or suite hotel.

  • Maggie says:

    How about option 3; is a suite possible? Put the twins in either the bedroom or the parlor area & grand-dad can hang with older girls in the other room.

    If a suite isn’t possible; then I think a baby monitor is acceptable. Hang a do not disturb sign on the twins room, to eliminate any turn down service entry.

    Also, are you bringing your cribs/pack n plays? I ask, because I recently worked with a hotel (I’m a meeting planner) and they wouldn’t let me have 2 cribs in a room because it was a fire hazard. In my case, we were trying to use 2 of the hotel cribs, if you are bringing your own, there’s no issue.

    Finally, once you arrive, check with desk again about options. The person who takes your reservation may be at a call center who has never been to the hotel. The front desk staff may be able to offer you some other options once you arrive.

    Best of luck!

  • Lauren says:

    Do you have a video monitor? That would help but be kind of an expense. If you have just th noise ones, set up noise traps for anyone opening the door 😉

  • Laura says:

    Holy crap. No way. I’m totally w/ Jen on the Madeleine McCann thing. That’s the first thing that popped into my head when I read this post. The whole situation is mitigated a little w/ the use of VIDEO monitors, but still if it were me I wouldn’t do it. And I’m a pretty laid back parent; I was totally ok w/ the post about leaving the kids in the car to run in for a latte or whatever. Although I do draw the line at leaving them in the car if I will not have a direct line of sight to the vehicle. Just get a different hotel that DOES have adjoining rooms.

    • the groom's sis says:

      There may not be pings-in-blankets, but there will be plenty of booze 🙂 I didn’t know the kiddos were coming – I can’t wait to see you all!!!

  • Jordana says:

    I bet you can guess my position. Just like I know which side is which…let’s just say, Rick and I would do fine if we ever had to attend a wedding together…

  • Beth says:

    Um. Yeah. No. I agree with those whose first thought was Madeline McCann. While yes, we are not talking a foreign country here, you just never know. And the point of going to a wedding is to ENJOY said wedding, no? And if your babies are in a seperate room you surely will not be able to enjoy the evening, correct? I agree with those who said to have everyone in one room for a “party.” I’m sure your Dad is an excellent caregiver, but it’s not worth the stress on you or him if he’d happen to doze off. And if the twinsies don’t get their normal amount of sleep? The worst that can happen is they’d be cranky the next day and need an extra nap. Might work out the best for you, especially if you and Rick (aka party animals) have a late night and need a little extra shut-eye the next day, too! Go with your gut instinct, Mama. You know what you really want to do! 🙂

    P.S Have fun! 😀

  • They can be alone in the room if you give me the address and room number they are staying in. If they are gone when you come back, don’t look in Madison. They won’t be snuggled up with me. Nope. They won’t. Look elsewhere.

    On a serious note – HELL NO! Nut jobs like me are out there.

  • N and Em's mom says:

    I would be worried that the “promised” adjoining rooms would end up being several floors away from each other. It may be easier on your dad to pack lots of treats and juice boxes and let everyone pig pile in the second bed and watch cartoons all night long. Hotels often have game systems as well. Are there suites in the hotel? Maybe upgrade dad and the kids to a suite?

  • Zaydie says:

    We’re with you on this one Kelcey. Too much pressure on your dad with the two room senario. The solution of all four kids STAYING HOME with your dad and a sitter in my opinion was the only thing that makes sense. Enjoy the weekend.

  • Jackie says:

    Personally I’m on the side of don’t leave them alone. I would ask for a roll away bed to be placed in the room. If for some strange reason they can’t accomedate that I would suggest makeing a pallet for them to sleep on.

    I guess I’m a worry wart. Kids are to valuable to take risks with.

  • Cara says:

    Option 2:

    The chances of anyone going into that room, period, are next to nothing. And with a monitor set up? No way. Set up a monitor, put a “do not disturb” sign on the door and enjoy the wedding. How on earth would any potential child-snatcher (of which there are practically none – almost all kidnappings, etc, are committed by people who know the family) know that there are kids in the room anyway? This is far less “risky” than the drive to get the kids there.

  • I must preface this with the omission that I love telling people what to do (er…I mean, giving advice) because I am a bossy oldest girl…

    And, as an aside, my husband just read me an article about how children suffer from increased obesity and depression because their parents don’t let them play outside anymore . Why? Well, because parents are afraid their child(ren) will be kidnapped. The article also said parental supervision of creative play (i.e. the famed “helicopter parents”) is killing the development of creativity and independence in children. How’s that for something to stress about while the vows are exchanged?

    Anyway, my stay-at-home-dad-husband would say ABSOLUTELY YES you can leave the twins slumber next door. He’d mention that most abductions are by parents/relatives/crazy ex-spouses. He’d think the baby monitor was over-kill and your dad checking in on them would be sufficient.

    On the other hand, I’d be running back to the room every 10 seconds, which would piss my husband off, which would mean we’d end up in a terrible fight, which would mean we’d not enjoy the wedding AT ALL and end up stuck in the hotel room SUPER early and SUPER ticked off while trying not to wake up two sixteen month-old toddlers.

    I like the suggestion for your dad to watch the kids at home. So. Much. Easier. What happens if your dad is stuck with a screaming toddler and the big girls in one room and he can’t realistically go check on the other toddler without risking waking him or her up by the screaming twin? Kids + hotel = horrible, and I’ve only had this experience once since our twins were born. It seems like your dad’s a good guy, so I’d not subject him to hotel room torture if he’s willing to watch ‘em solo at your house.

    Or maybe you’re looking for blog material and, in that case, just stick all four kids in one hotel room with your dad, some snacks and lots of TV and see what you find when you come back from the reception.

  • red pen mama says:

    Position One.

    And my goodness, I haven’t even thought about this vis-a-vis my own children and the wedding we’re going to next week in NC. Sh*t. Something else to add to my list.

  • Stacey says:

    Position 3-Why do the kids need to separate during the wedding? They can all be in one room with Granddad. And when the wedding is over be moved to the designated sleeping areas.

  • Allisonjd says:

    position 2. a baby monitor will pick up any intruders into the room. also your dad can keep his door bolted so he can hear anything out in the hallway while the twins door is locked. double protection. How is it any different than the twins being in their room at home with you in another room?

    if your not comfortable with that, I would move their cribs into the room with your dad and the girls. The downside is that the twins probably go to be earlier than the girls and then the room would be super cramped.

    do they have any suites??

  • Cecilia says:

    Whenever I need to make a judgement call, I ask myself one simple question. “How would this read in the paper?” And by the time I am done writing the opening paragraph of the article, my decision is right in front of me. In this case, Position 1 would virtually eliminate any need for a newspaper article.

    • Laura says:

      That’s hilarious. I do the same thing. I also imagine myself being interviewed (in an accusatory, judgmental tone) on “60 Minutes” or something. “And did it not seem at all irresponsible to you to leave two 16-month-old children in the hotel room ALONE for hours…”

  • Valerie says:

    We recently went to a wedding out-of-town where a babysitter watched our children in the reception hall. Can your dad take the kids to an empty room? They were exhausted but it was nice to have them there where we knew they were safe (we did enjoy the wedding in its entirety). The staff babysitter put on a movie and had coloring pages for the kids and some toys on the floor.

    But we also went to a wedding out-of-town when our oldest two were 7 mo & 2 1/2. My in-laws were in the room across the hall. So, after they’d go to sleep we’d visit with family across the hall. Or, if they were napping, someone across the hall might be listening for them (me, one of the in-laws, my hubby). But, as you can tell, we did it. The only difference is that we could see the door- nobody could enter without us seeing them.

  • Tisha says:

    On the question of safety, I’d worry more about them hurting themselves than about strangers entering the room. For me, it would depend upon whether they’re sleeping in playpens or hotel beds. If they could potentially (silently) wander about the room, then NO WAY is that safe.

    Now for a different approach: If the private room setup makes either you or Rick extremely uncomfortable, it’s not the right option for your kids, regardless of the reasoning.

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Don’t worry. Men don’t ‘steal’ babies; they’d have to care for them, feed them, change diapers. Women might. Put them to bed all in one room, and grandpa can watch them and when you come home, move them back to their own rooms. Why take any chances…not worth it. Even if they won’t ‘sleep’ because they’re playing and the t.v. is on….they’ll sleep when you get back.

  • Nanette says:

    Simple solution… handcuff them to the bed and use a monitor. 😉

    But really, I’m not overly jumpy in general. I’d give Gramps the monitor and hit the town!

  • Dorothy says:

    Ok, as a former daycare owner (and mom and grandma), I guess I am one of the few whose first thought was not of outsiders but the twins themselves managing to find their own trouble. I had a less than two year old get up from a nap, find a marker and color all over the dresser and walls and himself. I never heard him until it was far too late, he was vewy vewy qwiet….shhhhh. Not to mention, there’s a bathroom in that room…ooooh fun stuff to play with in there!
    My vote is for option two. It covers all the bases and you will be more relaxed knowing the kids are all together with your dad.

  • Lanie says:

    Not sure which option to vote for but it looks like you have a lot people who did weigh in. Thank you for the happification – I have never seen anything quite like it in my part of Atlanta – maybe I need to go check out the coke museum. . .xoxo

  • Emily says:

    Don’t do it.

    On another note: What in the crap is with that commercial? Is it a finger, a funny colored carrot? Obviously, I couldn’t get past the curtain part. Maybe I should mention; I am a Pepsi fan.

  • kokopuff says:

    I’m a bit baffled why Grandpa wouldn’t be in the room with the twins and the older girls watch a movie, etc. Or just all be in the same room until you get back from the wedding.

  • Marta says:

    I think its totally okay. In fact, I’m really shocked by the amount of people who don’t think it is. Personally I wouldn’t think twice about it, and my husband would be the exact opposite. He was raised by rather strict parents and I wasn’t. I also didn’t abuse my privileges by any means and my freedom was deserved. Its up to you and how well you trust your kids. I would do it. Its not like you’re leaving them home alone while you go to the Berkshires. You’re taking them with you to the same hotel!

      • Marta says:

        for some reason unknown to me now I was thinking 16 YEARS old which is obviously a completely different thing. I still think it’s okay especially if you bring a monitor but not nearly with the same conviction when I was completely wrong =)

        • Penny says:

          Marta, I’m SO glad you replied! I thought you might be thinking it was years, but if I asked that and you STILL were talking about 16 months, I just didn’t know what to say so I was trying to keep my comment neutral 🙂
          And I can understand both viewpoints, I just lean towards overly cautious.
          It’s pretty funny, rereading your comment now, and thinking about applying it to 16 month month old babies!

      • Marta says:

        Yes, it sounds absolutely ridiculous for 16 month olds! and the thing is I read the blog often so if I thought about it I’d know there are no 16 year olds! Clearly, I had a total brain break when I read and commented!! =)

  • 4girlsmom says:

    Regardless if the baby monitor is enough, I would say no if you aren’t comfortable. We lived in a hotel room with 3 kids in between a business move and I discovered the hotel provided cribs fit in the bathroom 🙂 Turn on the fan and the babes will sleep away and they will be in the same room with grandpa.

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kelcey kintner