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Jan
07
2013

You know what’s really awkward? When your 2 1/2 year-old poops on your friend’s rug.

Let me back up.

I finally potty trained my 2 1/2 year old twins.

The secret was getting them out of the pull-ups and into underwear. At first, my dad kept trying to sabotage my efforts by putting them back into pull-ups.

Apparently, he found the new “underwear strategy” problematic because the twins would you know, go to the bathroom in their underwear.

But I finally got my dad on board and then it just clicked with the twins. I felt so free! No more diapers!! Yahoo!!! And then because there is always someone who wants to bring you down, a friend reminded me that I was having a baby.

Well, no more diapers for right now!

Anyway, it was all going really really well until I was at a friend’s house and Chase came up to me and said, “I peed in my pants.”

And I was all like, “That’s not possible! You are potty trained. We are done with that. Go play.”

But he was all like, Mom look at me, I’m a mess.

And then I realized it didn’t smell like pee at all.

And then I realized, not only wasn’t it pee, it was all over him and there was some on the carpet and then I rushed him to the bathroom and yelled for Rick because I needed spousal back up IMMEDIATELY.

Rick came rushing around the corner and I said, “Get some carpet cleaner but don’t make it obvious.” Which of course is a ridiculous request because what is the subtle, low key way to  madly search for carpet cleaner is someone else’s home?”

Anyway, both Chase and the carpet got scrubbed down and thankfully clean.

I think this was just a momentary blip in our potty training success story, most likely sparked by Chase eating 47 crackers, cheese spread and a few bites of crab cake. (That number of crackers is just an estimate because I wasn’t paying attention to him at all.)

It’s really just another exciting chapter in my new book, “How To Potty Train Your Child in 30 Days or Less.” The chapter is titled, “It Wouldn’t Hurt To Carry Carpet Cleaner in Your Diaper Bag.” I think it will come right after, “Crackers. It’s What’s For Dinner!”

Oh, I’m not writing a book.

That would be exhausting. I just write titles.

18 Responses to that is not my kid’s poop on your rug. okay, it might be.

  • Karin says:

    Pat yourself on the back, Kelcey: You’re way ahead of the game at 2-1/2 years. Twins are notoriously hard to train. Even with a big sister, mine took forever–turned four (ugh!) the week we finally had total success.

  • You know this happened to me too, right? Except the other mother and myself witnessed my child squat and dump. I should have been carrying carpet cleaner and a mask of shame.

  • Amanda says:

    that totally happened to me with willa. right outside the bathroom door at a friend’s house. she went pee on the potty, got up, walked out of the bathroom, and pooped on the carpet (no clothes on her bottom). it was a full deposit. not fun..

    makes up stronger, right? uhh…right?

  • HonestMum says:

    Hehe! My son decided to wee (we say wee not pee in England) in a swanky gift shop a while back. It literally looked like a puddle of dog wee. Nice. The lady behind the counter gave me a look only parralled by that scene in Pretty Woman-you know the one. I quickly mopped it up with wet wipes trying not to crash into glass cabinets full of expensive yet pointless crystal shaped gifts and the like-only to end up buying many things (things I didn’t even need) like glass owls (help) to compensate.

  • deb ringold says:

    I am literally laughing out loud reading this! I am very thankful that I only got Chase’s artwork on my basement wall, and I can picture the scene of you and Rick asking where the people keep the carpet cleaner. Hopefully she didn’t give you the dumbfounded look that I did when you asked for my magic eraser (which, by the way, is now heavily stocked in my house!) I miss you all, and I don’t care what kind of mess any of them would leave in my house!!!! <3

  • Emily says:

    Oh my gosh, this was hysterical. I had my third one not too long ago and I finally was able to catch up- Congratulations!!! I can’t believe you are having another baby, so exciting, even if it was a surprise. :)

  • potty training my twins was often a nightmare. i won’t go into what happened one day with my dog (although I did blog about it back in the day, lol) and a poopy diaper that was flung off while I had jumped in the shower for like 3.5 minutes….

    but i can say we never had these disasters at anyone else’s house, thank goodness. but funny to read this and remember.

    and now i have one more child to potty train. i can only hope the twins will do her some good and perhaps they’ll be good role models for her to watch & she’ll train quickly/easily??? we shall see.

  • SOOOOO true. Best thing was recently my 3 year old who has been potty trained for a while went in his pants at a friend’s house. I changed him and got him cleaned up and then went to sit with the friend in the kitchen and chat. When the boys came back to tell us, “there’s still pee on the floor!” she looked at me and said, “I’m fine with it if you are!”

  • Hysterical. And good advice. My son is only 18 mos now but it sounds like his future considering the way things are going. He is a master at the “poop up the back” strategy. Also – glad to hear I’m not alone. At a “Princess” birthday party a month ago and my very well potty-trained 3 year old daughter had an accident in my friends bathroom. Thankfully it was only pee and on tile so no carpet cleaner needed – cleaned up on the sly. This was also due to my lack of paying attn as all 27 lbs of her pounded about 5 cups of the punch as I was enjoying the spiked version.


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